Balanced
by Azreal425
Summary: It has been six years since Vander Astran married Jacob Black and the birth of their daughter Hailey. Everything is picture perfect for the Cullen-Black hybrid family. But in Forks can anything ever stay balanced. A sequel to Natural Order R/R
1. Balance

"Aunt Alice can I ask you a question?" I heard a young voice ask as I came into the room. I smiled seeing the girl. I maintained that with her darker skin and deep chocolate eyes she looked like her father, Jacob maintained that with my delicate nose and glossy hair she looked like me. "Of course, why do you ask Hailey?" Alice asked as she sorted the color swatches. After Jacob graduated we both went to college, he was a mechanic and owned his own shop and I had an interior design business with Alice and Rose.

"You are my mother's sister? Right?" Hailey asked. I made a face, it was an unusual question. "Yes why do you ask?" she asked looking up. "Well you are a vampire, Rose, Bella, Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Grandpa and Grandma you are all vampires." She was motioned with her hands as if it all made sense now. Jacob and I hadn't intended to tell Hailey as early as we did but by the time she was five she figured that our family wasn't exactly normal. A year later she knew everything about our world.

"Yes honey we are." Alice said going back to her work. "Well then why isn't Mom?" she asked. I coughed and shook my head. Alice nodded as if getting the cue. "I am going to go home, see you guys later at the party." I nodded. She stood up and winked at me, as if she knew how the talk would go. Who are we fooling here Alice did know how the talk would go, she is Alice after all.

"You see, Hails when I was your age things started happening to me, like they are to you." I walked to my daughter and took her small hands in my own. "You found out you were a witch?" she asked. Already at six Hailey Astran Black was turning out to be her mother's very magical daughter. "Yes, your middle name was my last name before I married Daddy. It is a very important name." I was trying to find a way to tell the story without being to ugly about it.

"I know that, when ever we need to buy new stuff for the potions the people always whisper about you." She grinned. Not only was she her mother's daughter she had tons of Jacob's wolf traits, a sign of what her teenage years would bring. "Exactly, Mommy is a powerful witch." I smiled. "No you are the most powerful there has been since anyone can remember. That is what they say." she said her tiny face scrunching up as if she wasn't happy with my explanation. "Well ok." I paused taking a deep breath.

"Before Daddy there was another man that I loved a lot. He was attacked by bad a vampire. I was attacked too, and I was a vampire for a while. Then some bad people tried to kill me for my magic. For that to work I had to not be a vampire." I explained. Her face scrunched again this time in displeasure. "So you were just a witch again. After you were a vampire?" She asked. I nodded smiling at her. She was so smart for a six year old.

"Do you miss being a vampire?" she asked. "Yes, I do. I miss being faster and stronger then Daddy or even uncle Emmett." I smiled. "No way, no one is stronger then uncle Emmett. He is the strongest man in the entire whole wide world." I laughed and shook my head. Humans while attracted to the rest of my vampire family knew there was something off kilter for them, but Hailey was fearless and admired them. "I could we used to wrestle and I would win." She looked at me in awe. "Really Mommy?" she asked to which I nodded. "You must have been the best vampire in the entire world." she hugged me and I wrapped my arms around her. "Go get you school bag. Did you grab your homework from the table after you did it." I asked. She nodded.

I smiled and ushered her out of the office taking her back pack from her. "Do you think you could let me drive again?" She asked looking up at me. I shook my head. The last time I let her steer in my lap the only person more mad then Jacob had been Embry who had imprinted on Hailey when he visited the day she was born. "No remember last time?" I asked. "Yeah when Daddy's face turned all purple and Embry almost shit a brick." she laughed. "Hailey Astran Black, where did you hear that?" I asked. "Uncle Sam said to Daddy that Uncle Quill nearly shit a brick when Embry imprinted on me. I was supposed to be asleep." "Well shit is a bad word you aren't supposed to say it." I said opening the door letting her crawl into the child seat of the Shelby. "You mean like fuck?" she asked. That one had been all me. "Yes, buckle your belt." I pointed and got into the car.

I drove us home from Seattle where our shop was. Hailey went to a private school there and I dropped her off and picked her up everyday. The way back we listened to the mixed cd Edward had given here. His love of punk music rubbed off on her. She thrashed her head around as we made our way back to our house in La Push.

We had completely remodeled last year. Hailey's room had changed from a little lavender nursery to something else. Her walls were a darker purple now that peaked out between fashion photos and bunk band posters. Her room was tidy like I kept mine but her closet was a mess torn between her designer labels and dirty grease monkey clothes she worked in with her father. Carlisle had made it clear after we thought we had conceived again that Hailey had been a miracle baby. Apparently when I had my first child ripped from my body my ovaries were not that functional. Faced with the fact that we would probably never have children again Jacob and I repainted the third room from a hopeful new baby room to a guest room. All of the appliances were brand new everything from the toilets to the fridge. Jacob had paid for it some how spending as much to remodel the house as it cost to buy it helped Jacob eel more manly after Alice had brought it for our wedding present.

I parked in the garage and turned the car off. By the time my belt was undone and the door opened Hailey was ready to get out. She grabbed her bag and ran inside through the connecting door. "Embry!" She yelled jumping into the large man's arms. I couldn't but help smile, now that Clair and Hailey were the same age Quill and Embry were in the same boat. My view was blocked by my own large man. "Vander." he breathed as I walked into his arms. I knew the feeling, it was as if that when I was away from him I could hardly breath. "Jake, I missed you." I kissed him softly and let him deepen the kiss.

He let me go and we went inside holding hands. It only lasted a few seconds before Hailey turned from Embry and opened her arms. "Daddy get me." she demanded. He dropped my hand and scoped Hailey up. She was to big for me to pick up now but Jacob could still sweep me off my feet so it was nothing for him. "What did you learn today?" he asked. "That shit is a bad word." I started to laugh and shook my head as I took my heels off. Embry looked at me questionable. "Not me this time, little wolves have big ears. Particularly when Pack leaders are over." "Oh, Sam should know better, little Sam will start talking soon enough." he growled. "If it will make you feel better I'll start saying fuck around him as much as possible." I offered Embry smiled at me. "Mommy!" Hailey protested. Embry shook his head. "Sorry Hails." I apologized. Jacob grinned at me as he spoke. "You know your Mom has always had bad manners."

I shook my head and moved further into the kitchen and opened the fridge. "So we are expected at for dinner at six." I took a bottle of water out and opened it. Jacob made a face setting Hailey down. "Did you do your homework?" he asked. "Yes, at the office. It was easy, we are doing cursive letters. Esme taught me last year. I hate it." She made a face and I sighed. Hailey was extremely bright and she was far above her peers level. I wanted her to skip ahead to the fifth grade but Jacob didn't want that. He felt he had already compromised on the private school and he wanted her to be normally socialized. I had argued that her family was vampires and werewolves she wasn't going to do normal. We were at an impasse on the matter. Embry coughed at the awkwardness of the moment and bent down. "Say Hails how about you go get out of that stuff uniform and lets go swing." I nodded gratefully, I loved Jacob, and he loved me but we still fought. Italian lovers syndrome was what they had called it in college. We fought and got it all out and then made up. Apparently it was healthy.

With Hailey outside I faced Jacob my face set. "We need to do something Jake. Her work is painfully lower then her level. She needs to be challenged." I said. "That is ridiculous! She is challenged with the magic you teach her. Can't she have one thing that is normal for her?" He asked. "Jake she is a witch. We can't change that She is already manifesting fire, just like I did at that age. Most witches don't get that until they are almost at puberty. I mean after that she will be a full blown witch just like I was. She need to be able to express her magic in a healthy way or she might hurt herself or someone else. The spells and potions help her focus her powers. She has to learn these things." I let my fire come to life. It was not as kind as the one hit kill of lightning, I rarely used it. "Do you really want her to be able to do this and not focus, not know how to use it?" I asked. Jacob looked away and sighed. "Ok point she needs the magic lessons but school, that should be normal."

"Why? We aren't normal! I mean her family is made of vampires and wolves, or and a witch. Not only that but she knows about it and is cool with it. I mean she asked why I wasn't a vampire like the other Cullen's. Out of all the things in her life that is what she doesn't get, why her mommy ages but her grandpa doesn't. That isn't normal, why does she need something like that?" I asked. "Because we aren't normal that is why. She needs some part of her life that isn't about being different." He answered back. "I mean people her own age to be with. People she doesn't have to be different from." he continued. "Trust me that doesn't help. I mean you are with me and I am older then you." "Not that much, and when you are older those things mean less and less. She needs some normalcy. I let you send her to that school, I am not giving on this." He said. "Normal doesn't work for us. I tried normal and it got me killed and broke my heart." I screamed. I bit my lip, and sighed. "I am sorry, I shouldn't have said that I am using him again for an excuse, and now for our daughter. It wasn't right." I apologized.

Jacob sighed and brought me into his arms. "It is ok. I get it, but she won't ever have to face a loss like that, ever not with a breath in Embry's body. But your right normal isn't for our family including our daughter. If it is what she wants then we can arrange something." He whispered into my hair. I nodded and closed my eyes taking in his earthy smell. "I love you Jake." I said quietly. "I love you too Vand." He rubbed my back but didn't let me go. "Jake I need to shower before the party tonight." I said softly in his ear. "Well you are the birthday girl." he chuckled. He swept me up in his arms as if I were no bigger then Hailey. "Someone has got to was that sexy back for you." He said kissing my neck and taking me through our room to our bathroom.


	2. Birthday

I smiled as I stepped out of my bedroom with Jacob behind me. I was dressed in some creation Rose had made for me. It turned out that designing was her thing, not only was she great at work with Alice and I now she was making clothes. It was black with little lavender glass beads embroidered into the fabric that was strapless and hit me mid thigh. It also was the only strapless I owned that I didn't constantly have to pull up. I guess when you get a dress made specifically for you it highlights your own personal style, flashed your best features, and fits like a glove. On my neck I wore my old silver chain with a wolf on it and my curls were loosely pulled behind my head. "I love that dress on you, it shows your shoulders perfectly." Jacob said kissing my cheek.

"Mommy, you look pretty." Hailey said coming from her room. She was now dressed in her part outfit, a jumper done in black and purple tartan and little mary jane shoes that matched the mary jane heels I would be wearing. "Oh no Hails you are totally the star of the show tonight." I smiled. "Did Rose make that for you?" I asked. It had Rose's design written all over it. She nodded and smiled. "Can I put on some of your lipsticks?" She asked. I turned and looked at Jacob. My breath was caught in my chest. He wore black jeans and a tight muscle shirt and a vintage looking leather vest cut for him. I had forgotten how breath taking he was.

Jacob winked at me and grinned. "Are you two going to do it like rabbits now?" Hailey asked. I snapped my head forward. "What, Embry said you two do it like rabbits. But I don't know what he meant. He just said when you two look at each other you do it like rabbits." She said in a hurried voice. I pulled down one of her curls and let it bounce back into place. "It's ok Hailey, that just means that Mommy and Daddy love each other. Now lets go get you some lipstick ok?" I offered her my hand. When we passed Jacob I raised my mother brow. According to Alice and Rose I was a hot mom, that seemed to be the general consensus, but I did have my fix it now face.

I led Hailey into the bathroom and picked her up to sit on the edge of the sink. "What color do you want?" I asked. "Is there a color that will make me look more like you?" She asked. I smiled, it was cute that Hailey surrounded by the most beautiful women I had ever known thought I was the best looking of them. "Why do you want that Hails?" I was still trying to et her to accept that she too was beautiful. "I hate how I look Mommy." "Why?" I asked cradling her small face in my hands. "The kids at school make fun of me and ask why I am not white." My brows shot into my hairline. "What?" I asked I could hear my voice making a couple octave jump. "All the older kids say I am half a nig.." "Hailey, that is a mean and hateful word you are never to repeat understand?" She nodded tears welling up in her eyes. "But am I?" She asked. I shook my head wrapping my arms around her. "No, you are half Native American. There is nothing to be ashamed of no matter what you are Hails. Understand? You are beautiful, smart, talented." I stopped and sighed. "How long has this been going on?" I asked. "Since school began. They saw you and started asking if Daddy was an you know? And I said no he is brown." Her little face scrunched up with tears.

"Well you know what you don't have to go to school there any more. First thing tomorrow I will take you there and withdraw you. We will find something that fits you, no more lessons you already know, no more kids making fun of you ever again Mommy promises." "Really Mommy?" she asked. I nodded and hugged her extra tight. "Could do you think Grandma teach me? That is my favorite, well besides the magic." I smiled. "Well I can certainly ask her. I can't imagine she would say no." I wiped the tears from her face and smiled. "Now about that lipstick, what do you say?" She smiled up at me and nodded. "Can I wear the one that smells like chocolate?" I nodded. That was Hailey's favorite perhaps because we had purchased it for her specifically though she didn't know it. I retrieved her lipstick and let her apply it herself.

I helped her down and smiled. "Why don't you go get your present and meet us back in the kitchen?" Hailey nodded and ran off. I stood up straight and frowned. There was no way that I would ever let my daughter feel like she was something dirty because of her skin color. Jacob came behind me and gave me a tight hug. "What is the matter Vand? You are wearing your angry face." Jacob kissed my cheek.

"Do you know what Hailey just told me?" I asked. He shook his head. "I was talking to the others about watching their mouths around Hails." He tapped his head. "She just asked me why she isn't white. Apparently kids at school have been making fun of her and the older ones have been telling her she is a nigger." I said my jaw line setting. "What?" Jacob roared. I nodded and took his face in my hands trying to calm him. I promised her that tomorrow I was taking her out of school and we would find something else for her. She wants Esme to teach her." I said. Jacob bit his lip. "Do you think she will?" he asked. "Well I can't picture her saying no, she loves teaching Hails. But even if she did I would teach her myself if I had to." I said. "You won't even consider the school here?" He asked. "Well she is years above her peers, maybe Esme could teach her and she could go for her activities like art and p.e. then she could be getting the school she needs and the friends she needs but she will never ever see the inside of another Seattle Prep classroom." Jacob smiled at me. "You are so cute when you get protective you know that? But cuteness of my wife aside I think that will be a good solution." He gave me a tight squeeze to where I couldn't breath.

"Daddy! Mommy! Are we going?" Hailey asked from the doorway. "Yeah we are coming." Jacob said back. He left me and scoped Hailey up. "I love you Hails you know that?" he asked. "I love you too Daddy. Even if you aren't white." She smiled. My face fell, she was trying to make him feel better, but the words were so hateful without her knowing it. "Hailey, you love Embry right? And Sam?" He asked. She nodded. "Well they aren't white either, you see the color of someone's skin doesn't mean they are better or worse then anyone else. No matter what those kids at your school say. You are special and no one can change that." He tweaked her nose. "You mean they are wrong?" she asked. "They are very wrong, I mean our whole family is made up of different types of people aren't they?" he asked. Hailey nodded. "Well aren't they all just as great wither they are white or brown?" She nodded and smiled as if she got the message.

I smiled and rested my head on Jacob's shoulder. "Besides of all the things that are wrong with Daddy, none of them are his skin color." I laughed. "Oh yeah, what is wrong with Daddy?" he asked. "Mommy says you track mud in the bed after you patrol." Hailey giggled. I laughed and Jacob kissed my cheek. "Ok lets go or we are going to be late." Jacob grinned. I nodded and started to walk to the closet to get my shoes while Jacob carried Hailey to the car to strap her into her seat.

We drove to the Cullen house listening to another of Hailey's cds. She danced in her child seat grinning up at us. Jacob parked behind Sam's car and we were indeed the last to arrive. We got out and walked up the drive way swinging Hailey between us. As soon as we hit the door Hailey ran to Emmett. "Em, Mommy said that one time she was as strong as you are." He laughed and picked her up. "Well she was at one time." "But you are the strongest man in the whole wide world." She said her eyes wide. "No he isn't, I am." Jasper said puffing his chest out. I shook my head and was enveloped by Bella. "Happy birthday!" She said. When she pulled away her face changed. "What's wrong?" She asked. I shook my head telling her not right now. She looked to Edward her brow raised. "That is cheating." I commented. Edward's face held shock. "They said what?" he asked. I simply nodded. Edward leaned in and told Bella. "What? That is ridiculous!" She gave me another tight squeeze and let me go. I was enveloped between my three sisters then. Edward apparently had told all of the Cullen clan of our plight.

Tears welled up in my eyes. "I just, we have spent Hailey's entire life teaching her love, vampire, wolf, witch, all of them and this is what she gets at school." Esme patted y back coming up from behind. "Don't worry Vander. I will teach her, Edward informed us of the problem and what Hailey wants and I will teach her. I am flattered." I smiled and opened my arms to include her into the hug. I heard a photo snap and smiled at the thought of the picture. I released them and turned around to find the next picture moment.

Jacob had he lens trained on Hailey being tossed back and forth between Jasper and Emmett over Embry's head. Hailey was giggling, Jasper and Emmett teasing Embry, and Embry furious. I laughed and started to greet everyone.

"You look amazing in that dress, happy birthday" Emily smiled at me. "Thanks, you look good to Emily." I smiled. "And sorry about Sam and the S-bomb." She apologized. "Well I taught her fuck so I can't be to mad." I replied. After so many supernatural hugs I felt like I might never breath the same again. Everyone seemed to have caught wind of our little problem but no one said more on the matter. Hailey, Clair, and Sam and Emily's son were already running around outside playing hide and seek. We all went to the kitchen and started to make plates of the food Esme had prepared. Being responsible for feeding the pack sometimes had thrilled Esme, she was getting to do all sorts of motherly things she had never hoped she would do.

"Mommy, mommy" Hailey ran inside followed by Sam junior. "What is it honey?" I asked bending down to be on level with the children. "It smells funny outside." She said. "What do you mean?" I asked. "The wind isn't moving out there Vandy." Sam said, he used my nick name being embarrassed to try the full thing. I went rigid. "Funny like when Mommy does the shield?" I asked. She nodded. I looked up and all of the adults in the room went stiff. Someone was doing magic around our house, and worse yet none of use had sensed it. "Everyone with none ass kicking powers upstairs." I said. My old room had been safeguarded for pretty much any attack we could have thrown at us. Emily nodded and started to gather the children.

I took off my heels and sat them beside me and rose. "Alright, lets go outside." I said making my way to the open sliding door. We filed out of the house me leading everyone. I strode to the middle of the yard. "Air, I command you bend to my will and be released." The wind whipped around us then settled to a gentle breeze. The vampires adopted low crouching positions and the wolves phased.

An almost translucent man stepped forward. "Vander Cullen, I am Aro and I come in peace." he gave a small bow. My hands lit up blazing with fire. "Why have the Volturi come to our territory?" Carlisle asked stepping forward. "We have come to take Vander Cullen with us to be a guard. Typically we would accept a no but someone of her caliber, can not be let go." He said as if it was the most sensible thing in the world. "It is Black now, you should really keep up with your intel Aro." I said tilting my head. "We have come in peace. Yet you offer violence." he gestured to the fire. "Lets see you brought a witch with you and there are more little vampires laying in wait for us out there. In peace? I done think so." I shook my head. "Do you remember what I told Felix? Well you are close to ruffling the hair on the heads of my family. You leave now and you can claim your lives still. Refuse and you will be first."

He simply bowed and Felix and three others stepped forward. "We did offer you peace." Felix said looking at me. "I am not a vampire." I said slowly as if I was speaking to someone who was not all there. "Well allow me to remedy that." Aro said. I blazed hotter and stepped forward. "You take a step and before your second foot hit the ground you will be dead." I growled. I could feel my family at my back moving closer to me. I raised my brow. "Last chance Aro go now." "I am afraid not Vander." He smiled at me and raised his hand. Suddenly I could not breath. That was bad, I couldn't break the spell without knowing where the witch was and the only other person who could possibly do it was locked in a room in the house.

I clawed at my neck my fire being snuffed out form lack of oxygen. I could hear voices far away from me. "Come a step closer and the witch dies." Aro warned. I felt my head slipping away from me in a foggy dream. Shout swirling around me. My world was fading fast to black and there was about to be the final nothingness surround me, one that I would not wake up from.

Suddenly my world was focused to a sharp familiar pain at my neck. I was allowed breath again but the damage was already done. My fast beating heart started to circulate the poison in my veins. I heard a window crash and Hailey jumped from the second floor window. Embry moved and landed on his side making her fall safe. "Mommy!" she yelled. She scrambled to her feet running toward me. "No!" I croaked. Still she ran to me. I raised my hand though it was painful and created a wind barrier to keep Hailey away. Aro and his guard took the opportunity to drag me away into the woods. My family started to fight against the barrier but it was no use. My last vision before blacking out was Jacob ramming the barrier.


	3. Resurrection

Searing thirst woke me up. I was in a disgusting cage my dress torn and bloodied. "Where am I?" I yelled. A small vampire entered the room. "You are awake now. Good are you thirsty?" She asked. I nodded. "Good, we were worried you have been out for over a week." She tossed a cat into the cage for me. It was still alive but immobile. I sang my fangs into it and was done in two gulps. "More." I said my voice husky with need. "Oh no, you are in that cage until we are sure you are safe." She said. I tried to summon my fire but failed. "Your magic is robbed from that cage. That little witch we caught was quite helpful, to bad she had to die." The woman giggled and disappeared.

I yelled until my voice was hoarse and I was weak from lack of blood. No one came with another cat, no one came period. I started to count the hours, then the hours bled into days. By the end of the third day I could not move with out the fire for blood burning in my veins. On the sevenths day I could no longer move and that is when I had visitors.

"Greetings Vander, you must be thirsty by now. Would you like to come out of your cage?" Aro asked. Beside him the sadistic girl vampire giggled. "Your word of honor you will not attack us and this can be yours Vander." Another small vampire, a boy lead in a calf still wobbly on it's legs. I rushed the cage blood lust fueling my body. "Give it to me." I heard a voice that was not my own hiss. I continued to rush the cage, even in my weakened state I was much stronger as newborn then a normal vampire. "Aro.. She might break the cage…" The boy said backing up a little. The calf wobbled away trying to flee.

I felt fear that it would be gone well up in me and I rammed the cage harder. "Vander please you will hurt yourself." Aro said trying to be calm. "GIVE IT TO ME!" I roared. "I am going to open the cage now Vander, if you attack us you will be put back in." Aro said his voice smooth. He stepped tward the cage and unlatched it. I rammed it being free. I was on the small boy vampire and snapped his neck for trying to steal my food. I fed from the calf for a few seconds before pain exploded into my brain. I continued to feed however, my body urgent.

It took several of the guard to pull my back into my cage, but I was thinking clearly again. "That was very rude Vander. Now Alec will have to heal himself." Aro said smoothing his clothes. "Jane discipline her." He left with Felix and other I had no idea what their name was. The small vampire, Jane her face set in anger at me was all that was left. "That was my brother." She said and then the pain exploded into my body once more. It crumpled me to the floor but did not stop. The pain cuased my body to bow until I thought I would break but yet I did not. I had no idea how long it continued for but eventually Jane left the room blood pouring from my mouth, ears, eyes, and nose.

The next day Aro returned Jane and Felix with him along with an unnamed one. "This is Demetri, he will join us today Vander is that ok with you?" he asked. "Why do you ask? You come to me in peace and take me against my will. You hold me here and torture me, and starve me. You can let me go and then go fuck yourselves that will be ok with me." I growled. "Now Vander please yesterday we all had bad manners. Let today be better. I think perhaps yesterday would have went better if we had gave you food sooner. I will take the blame." Aro spoke. "No I wanted to kill him, if I had been eating calves everyday all day I would have still killed him. If you find that to be untrue let me out and I will show you." I growled. "If you insist on behaving like this will leave Jane to her games, she is still quite upset about her brother." He spoke sharply. "Well she wants to play a game put her little ass in here and I will burn her to the ground while she screams." I said my head tilted. "Very well we will try again tomorrow. Jane." With that they all filled out except the young Jane who once again sent my body into body bowing pain.

The next day I could not move. "Vander how are you this fine day? This is Caius and Marcus." I could not see them only the top of my cage. "Vander can you hear me?" Aro asked. "I believe she is to hurt to respond." a voice said. "Get the girl some blood, she is useless like this." another voice said. The cage opened and I made no move because I had no movement to make.

Blood poured down my throat and slowly I blinked. My eyes were crusted with my own blood, my face was crusted taunt with it. I gulped it down automatically my body filling with it coursing with life. I felt aches start to creep into my awareness. "Aro you have been irresponsible with this resource." one of the voices said. "Agreed Jane is not to harm her again." the other voice said. "She is rather resilient." Aro defended. "Yes that much is clear but if you ever hope to win her you must do it another way." One of the voices said. I could hear the words but I couldn't process them. All that mattered was blood, the sweet hot nectar flowing down my throat. I still was unable to move. Blood poured down my throat and a cold hand touched me tentatively . All of my memories flashed before my eyes inside my head to fast for me to track.

The next thing I knew I was alone. I felt better then I had since coming here. The blood was erasing the aches and healing my body. I was more alert this time when the trio entered the room. "Vander, there is someone here who wants to see you." The white haired one said. "Someone else here to break me?" I asked. "Now Vander please. Marcus and I went to a lot of trouble to convince him to see you." Obviously he had to be Caius. "We also have forbidden him to let Jane have her way with you. We are not monsters. We are willing to let you out provided you behave. Now we will bring your guest in." Marcus spoke up "Do whatever you want but the next time that cage opens I will claim your lives." I nodded. "Perhaps." Marcus said.

The door to my cage room came open and a tall muscular man stepped through. His hair was shoulder length, his skin a beautiful brown like coffee with to much creamer. Burgundy eyes faced me and a dazzling smile with the most amazing lips I had ever seen. "Hey Babe, how are you feeling?" Gilbert asked.

I collapsed on to the floor. "Gilby bear?" I asked. "Can I come in there Babe?" Gilbert asked. I simply nodded. "Lets give them some alone time." Caius said. The three flittered out with his words. Gilbert opened my cage and stepped inside bending down to cradle me. "If I would have known they were letting Aro do this I would have come and stopped it. You believe me right Vand?" He kissed my cheek. "You aren't real, I saw…" My voice filled with emotion. "Shh what you think you saw isn't real." He quieted me.

"Vand I hate to be the one to tell you this but you were brain washed. That is why I didn't come sooner. I couldn't bear to hear you calling out the name of a man who tore you from me." He petted my hair. "You were so strong, so strong Vand. It hurt me to see you like that. I mean think about it a wolf Vand. You taught me they couldn't be trusted." He smiled at me as if he were speaking to a child. "But you were dead…" I said softly.

"That is what they wanted you to think. Jacob was in a class with us don't you remember? He tried to date you and you turned him down so he started to hunt you, and once he found you were a witch…" He lead off. "No Alex it was Alex that was responsible…" I defended Jacob, it seemed wrong with Gilbert holding me. "No Babe, Jacob attacked me. The vampires saved me. They had to turn me or I would have died for real. Jacob took you and spend two years convincing you that you had turned to a vampire and I was dead. Every time we got close he would slip into the night Vand. When he couldn't keep the vampire lie up anymore he made up some story about your brother and sister. He used you Vander. He raped you." Gilbert kissed my temple and stroked my hair again. "Please Vand, I know it is hard to accept. Lets just get you out of here and get you cleaned up ok?" He asked softly coaxing me to the door.

I went with him giving no resistance but not exactly helping him either. Was this real? Had Gilbert really survived to become a vampire? Had Jacob Black really kidnapped and brainwashed me? Was my longing for him really manufactured? Had my little Hails been a lie? "What about the Cullens?" I asked digging my heels in stopping him from moving me. "They are a rival coven Vand… they helped the wolf keep you so they could use you as a tool to fight the Volturi." Gilbert said rubbing small circles in the back of my hand. "No they were my family…" I couldn't picture Esme doing anything so dark and underhanded. I couldn't imagine mani pedi nights being anything more then what they were. "Were they? I mean they just took a strange girl in with no thought. Gave you all the money you wanted? Come on Vand they were keeping you prisoner. Did you ever try to leave and one or more of them stopped you?" He asked. "They did it because they loved me and wanted me there with them." I argued. "They wanted you alright, come on Babe, you were a prisoner, just in silken ropes not iron ones." "You mean like here?" I asked. "I came as soon as I found out Vander. I didn't know they were keeping you like this please." he kissed the back of my hand all the way up to my elbow and then kissed the inside of it. His special spot to kiss me. I felt my body melting to his touch. "Come on, lets get you clean and fed some thing more then emergency measures. Wouldn't you like to hunt?" he asked. I nodded and let him lead me out of the room.

"Ah Vander so good to see you up and about. I trust you have come to see the truth." Marcus said beaming at me. "I apologize for your treatment at Aro's hand. We are much more civilized then this." Caius said. "I too apologize. My measures were to extreme, I feared for us all." Aro said with a bow. "You should be. I could kill you where you stand right now." I felt the room tense around me. "But I won't, you owe Gilbert a life debt." I spoke softly. Gilbert's hand eased around mine. "Come on let's just put this behind us Babe, get you cleaned up." I nodded and let my body ease past the three ancient vampires.

Gilbert lead me through the underground complex to rooms he said were his, and now mine. He flipped on the lights and smiled. "This is the bedroom, I got lots of pillows like you love. Here is the closet. " He opened the doors to revel all black clothes. It took me several moments to realize that the smaller ones were mine. "Ok and through this door is the bathroom. It's not as fancy as you are used to but it works." He said pulling me to the door he pointed out. Inside water was filling a large tub that was more like a shallow pool then a bathtub.

I stood staring at the water level slowly rising. Gilbert rubbed my shoulders and unzipped my dress slowly. He took in a sharp breath and smiled at me. "I forgot how beautiful your body was in person." his fingers rushed over the blood flecked skin. He kissed my neck and I shivered, not from pleasure but that is how he took it. His finger unclasped my lavender lace strapless bra letting it fall between us. I shook my head and pulled away. "No, I will do this myself." I made space between us and turned my back to him slipping the matching boy shorts off. I turned using my arms to cover my nakedness and padded to the gigantic bathtub and jumped in. When I surfaced Gilbert was making a face. "Come on Vand what is the problem… you aren't telling me you are shy are you? I mean really?" he licked his lips and grinned at me. "Remember that time we snuck into the pool on campus and went skinny dipping?" he asked. "Don't, I don't know what is real and what isn't. Don't." I shook my head.

He sighed and sat down on the edge of the tub. "I am real Vand. Me and you that is real. Vincent that is real. That other stuff with Jacob and the Cullens that isn't real. Remember I pretended to need the same book you did for a class I wasn't in just to get your number. That was real. The time you stripped for me on my birthday, that was real. The wedding band I gave you that was real. Me not putting a diamond on it until you set a date that was real." He extended his hand to my floating form. "Making love in between classes that was real. You loving the scar tissue on your left ear being sucked, that is real." I closed my eyes. I had all of those memories, I knew that not even Jacob knew about my ear scar tissue spot. It just did not fit together.

I sunk into the warm waters letting the grime lift off my body. I felt the water move and surfaced, Gilbert's clothes were at the edge of the tub and Gilbert floated by me. "Vand this is real." He whispered in my ear pressing his body against me his body ready. I pushed him away. "Stop it, just stop it!" I screamed. "Alright Vand, alright. But I have been chasing you for years, I have wanted you from the moment I saw you. Then I lost you and now I can have you back. Don't be angry for wanting you like I always have." he said gliding away from me. "Just please go I need to think." I asked. "Promise you won't take off?" He asked. I nodded and he pushed himself out of the water. I shuddered at the sight of his perfectly sculpted body naked glistening with water. "See Vand, your body knows the truth. It knows I am being truthful." He grinned and pulled his boxer briefs on. "Just go." I pleaded. He simply nodded and left the room.

I scrubbed my body clean of the remaining grime and then started to float on my back. I pictured swinging Hailey between myself and Jacob. I remembered promising her she didn't have to go to back to school. A pang ran through my body. Had that been a lie? The little girl with my nose and hair was she a lie? Had everything that had happened to me in the almost last decade been a lie? It seemed so real, my family felt so real. My love for them, cooking for the Pack, bonfires on the beach, movie marathons, poker games, my marriage, Jacob's virginity. Was it all some lie built off brainwashing? I found it hard to believe, I was stronger then that, torture couldn't break me. If I had been brain washed how had thy done it? Through isolation? A cleverly staged death scene of my lover? Certainly the Cullen coven could do anything they wanted but why would they? But if it were all true why was Gilbert here smiling at me revealing things no one else could even know. If it was true why hadn't my family come for me? I climbed out of the tub and wrapped a towel around me hitting the drain button. Like a large toilet the water began to flush down.

I didn't leave the bathroom instead I sat down on the cold stone floor and looked up at the ceiling. My world was upturned. I didn't know which way was up or what was wrong. I was so conflicted, is there any way that both stories could be true? Was one a lie? Which one was the lie? All of my life I learned that wolves were not to be trusted, they were savages. Did I believe a wolf was capable of doing the horror that Gilbert claimed? Absolutely. Did I believe that Jacob was capable of it? Not in a million years. I screamed and let lightning dance freely on my body.

The door opened and Gilbert peaked in. "Mi Amour?" He asked. I turned my head and looked at him. My pet name, my pet name, he only used it when we were perfectly alone. "Gilby…" "Vander, I can't come in with the lightning, please let me hold you Mi Armor. My love please." He pleaded stepping into the room as close as he dared. "Please Vander please, I only want to be with you again please. Let me protect you. Let me protect us." I nodded and let my lightning dissipate. He came to my body and pressed me tight to him. "There now Mi Amour. It's ok. In time the lie will fade. Take as long as you need." He brushed my wet hair with his finger tips. "It felt so real… how could I have been so weak?" I asked. He shook his head. "It doesn't matter, all that matters is that we are here and Volturi."


	4. Flee

Volturi. If there was one thing I didn't want to be I knew it was that. "Why can't it be enough that we are together?" I asked pulling away. "What Vand, come on. They are like royalty and now you are one of them." Gilbert said making a face. "Stop calling me Vand. I don't care what they are I don't want to be here." I said angrily. "Why? We owe them." He said. "No, I don't owe them anything but death. They took me away." I said my brow furrowing. "I owe them my life, and they saved you from the wolves you should be grateful." He said just as angrily.

"I don't know what to believe. I mean I can't believe the Cullens were using me, I can't believe that Jacob would ever do anything bad. I just want to go home." I said pushing myself up struggling not to flash anything. "You were brainwashed, for eight years that is why you have a hard time believing it. You have no home but here. With me Vander, I thought that is what you wanted." He said standing gracefully taking my hand. "I did want that…" I stopped my angry statement and looked down. "Before what? Before you let yourself be taken in by a wolf? Before you fucked him?" Gilbert asked angrily.

I yanked my hand from his grip and turned my back padding heavily on the stone floor. I was not having this argument naked. "I didn't mean that Vander stop please. Mi Amour stop." I could hear him walking closely behind me. "I want clothes on clean clothes. I have no idea how long I was filthy. I want clothes, ok?" I asked. I sounded hostile even to me. "Fine! You never used to be like this before…" I stopped and spun to face him. "Before what? Go ahead say it. Blame this all on Jacob. You know what? You didn't used to be like this before you let vampire royalty mind fuck you." I yelled. "Vander just stop ok. Let's not fight, we have changed these things happen but we still love each other don't we? You still love me right. Please don't let him to have taken that from me too." He pleaded. "No I do love you, Jacob never asked me to stop loving you. I would appreciate if you stopped bad mouthing him." I flung open the door and went to the closet and pulled out my new uniform. Black jeans and a black scoop neck shirt.

"How can I not hate him, he stole you." he said following me out and then laying across the bed. "What do you call what you did to him?" I asked pulling the jeans on not worrying about panties or bra. "I simply took back what was mine." He grinned at me. It was the wrong thing to say. "I am not yours, I belong to no one. I am not a thing." I snapped. "Vander your heart will always be mine." He grinned again. He was simply wearing black jeans and he stretched his muscled frame as if show casing it. I pulled on my shirt and threw the towel at him. "Still an animal in the bedroom I see." He joked. "Are we going to eat or what?" I said leaving the comment alone.

He sighed and pushed himself off the bed. "You want blood, ok we are going to have to hunt then out of town of course because of your special needs." he rose and came to stand behind me. He cupped my breast and bent to speak softly in my ear. "To bad you can't do human, it is very erotic to share." I grabbed his wrist and like lightning side stepped him and pulled his arm behind his back forcing him to his knees. Ok so I missed the fringe benefits of being a vampire. "You are not to touch me like that until I get my head clear ok got it? It might have been brainwashing but it felt real. You said you can wait you better wait until I give the go ahead or you will not see me ever. I might be a prisoner here but if you do that again I will march my ass back to that cage."

He nodded and I let him up. "You are fast and strong. Really fast and strong Vander that was amazing and sort of hot." he grinned rubbing his wrist. "Fine, I will go get some blood on my own." I shrugged. He scrambled after me shaking his head. "I don't think they will let you leave on your own yet." I shrugged. "Then keep up and keep your hands to yourself." I commented. He made longer strides to keep up. "Do we need to check out or something?' I asked. He shook his head. "You aren't a prisoner here." he said taking my hand then quickly letting it drop. "Then why do I need an escort?" I asked. "So you don't get lost." Too late for that one. "Come on it will be fun. I bet you are beautiful when you hunt." "Yeah, I am real perfection in motion." I said sarcastically letting him lead now. "Agreed." He smiled and lead me out.

Funny how being locked up for an undetermined amount of time makes you loose all sense of time. But of course this was the Volturi, they would only let us out at night. Figures. I blinked letting my eyes adjust and my body follow Gilbert's form. A warm wind blew across my face and I jerked my head. I smelt a familiar smell, it smelt like home. Before my brain could catch up with my body I was following the smell. "EDWARD! ALICE!" I screamed my body moving as if it had always known the streets they were traveling on. It was carrying me further and further from the wilderness Gilbert was trying to lead me to, but closer and closer to home.

My body went down, my kneels buckling from a tackle behind. "Vander what are you doing?" Gilbert asked. "Let me go!" I screamed. "You said I could leave now let me go." I wiggled and twisted but he had the drop on me. "Vander stop it, you will cause a panic stop it." he rebuked. I continued to scream until his hand covered my mouth. 'EDWARD! Please hear me please be here.' I screamed with my mind. I felt Edward's conscious slipping toward me like a comfortable pair of shoes you have always loved. 'Vand! You are alive.' he responded. 'Please, Edward don't leave me here.' I cried out still struggling with Gilbert. I bit into his hand and he let my mouth go. "Let me go." I screamed. "Vander stop, you are delusional you need blood."

Several of the black clothed guards came out and seized my body with the help of Gilbert. "Someone bring her something to drink. It was too soon to take her out." Gilbert huffed nursing his hand. 'Edward!' I cried out in my mind trying desperately not to loose him. Once I was through the threshold of the Volturi complex I felt the connection sever. I knew then that Edward's presence in my mind had not been a delusion. I knew that Edward and Alice were near. "Let me up… You said I could go when I want. I want to go." I struggled. "Vander please there is nothing out there for you." "My brother and sister are out there let me go!" I struggled fighting against the guards holding me.

"No Mike and Steph are in America with their families. Stop please, you are going to hurt yourself." Gilbert urged. "No I am going to hurt you." I growled letting my lighting charge my body. Instantly I was free. I moved towards the door stepping over the bodies. "Edward, Alice where are you?" I called stepping away from the building. I spun slowly in a circle looking for them taking in all the air I could as if to get their scent. There was nothing to find. I reached out for my mind trying to find Edward. I could not find him. I felt my body start to run in the direction I had first felt them. In my mind I kept screaming for Edward to please not leave me.

Every time I turned my head I would catch their scent and my body would fly off in that direction. Each time I felt as if they were close I would catch the smell in a different direction. It was like playing metaphysical hide and go seek and I was losing. I stopped looking long enough to realize that daylight was quickly looming on the horizon. How long had I been searching? It felt like only moments since I had left the guards stunned but in reality it must have been hours. I growled in frustration and closed my eyes trying to seek out Edward's mind but it was not there for me to find. Had Gilbert been right? Had it really been a delusion, then why had the "safety" of the Volturi chased it away? But if it had been real where were they and why had they not sought me out already?

I opened my eyes to realize I was lost. I had no idea where I was, running around for hours can do that for you. I wasn't even sure if I was still in Volterra even? What was worse was I had no resources. No cell phone, no money, no car. The only plus I counted myself with was my own self. "I am Vander Black damn it!" I said aloud. I was a vampire, and a witch, the witch I could do this. Fire started to burn in my veins, not good. Newborns need more blood and I had used a lot of energy. I looked down at the street. I was still in a tow with sewers. Sewers meant rats, not the best eating but better then nothing.

It wasn't long before I found a sewer grate. I bent the bars wide enough to drop into the murky darkness and then bent them back. In the sewers it was dark but nothing my vampire vision couldn't make quick work of. As a vampire I had made it a rule to hunt rather then to use magic to capture my prey. Desperate times make rules go out the window. I used my strong thick nails to draw blood from my wrist and drew a large circle that would bind the rats and not let them leave and in the middle a summoning charm. I spoke a few words and closed the circle.

My closed my eyes and let my body melt against the wall to laying in wait. It was a few minutes before I head the scraping of clawed feet. I could feel a familiar dark smile cross my face and let my eyes slid open. I watched are the rats draw themselves into the circle and fought to break the ward to no avail. My hand snaked into the circle and grabbed one. I broke it's neck and it stopped fighting my iron grip. I ripped into the soft underbelly and let the warm thick blood slid down my throat. Still the rats came smelling blood and death but the charm's pull was too irresistible. Rat after rat were thrown into the stream. Hundreds of their little corpses so that the stream couldn't wash them away.

I had my fill as the oldest most cunning rats began to come to my call and I erased the binding circle. The rats inside fled in terror. I scoped up some water and washed the mark away completely. I climbed out of the sewer it was lighter now dawn quickly approaching. I wondered if I could make my way to the American Embassy and convince them I was some wayward fashion model. I certainly was beautiful enough. Could I really convince them I had partied so hard I lost everything? Was that to far fetched? Would they believe I was a mild mannered house wife kidnapped be real life vampires? Nah, maybe a mix of the truth? A designer on a buying trip losing her id's after a night on the town?

No plot I could think of was plausible enough to get me back to the states. What I needed was Euro to buy a fake passport and airplane ticket. I sighed. I needed to find a job to get Euro. I needed an id to get a legitimate job. Then again I couldn't make enough money working a legitimate job. That left illegal jobs, I wouldn't pimp myself, I didn't have drug connections, or any connections at all. People didn't exactly ask for hitters off the streets. Hard to believe that I counted myself as an asset.

Perhaps I could just parade into a local occult shop and simply claim I am Vander Astran and demand help. Could I trade on my good name long enough to make some calls? Or could I simple trade on it to get me arrested. Maybe that is what I needed, arresting, then I could use my one call to Carlisle, surely he could help me. Heh, my best plan so far was getting arrested. Brilliant. Well at least walking around aimlessly thinking of impossible schemes seemed an improvement then chasing ghost that weren't there. Maybe I should just hole up somewhere and try to draw attention of Alice's sight on to myself. Great my two best plans including my life in Washington being true and not the product of years of brainwashed bliss.

Brainwashed bliss, is that what my life amounted to. Who knew? I could have been fed lies and isolated for two years and so desperate for any kind of contact I swallowed lies so easily. Come to think of it I had fallen in love with Jacob very easily. The Cullen clan had taken me in like a sponge with almost no effort. People weren't like that, were they? I mean things were much more complicated then that normally right? I screamed in frustration. The people slowly filtering out of their houses to go to their jobs at small cafes and stores looked at me if I were crazy. Trouble was I didn't know if I were crazy or not.

To avoid glances I slipped into an alley and let my body slid down the wall. Was I crazy? Was I? Perhaps my whole life was a delusion. Maybe I was really laying in a bed somewhere blood pooling in the back of my head making me have pretty visions. Perhaps I had been there my whole life since birth and there was no such thing as vampires, witches, and wolves. One could only hope so. Maybe if I reasoned my way out I could make a book out of it all and become a best selling author. Would I know how to write? Would my almost thirty year old body be able to hold a pen, type on the keys.

As I sat there contemplating my sanity and if this was all a dream I failed to notice the black shape forming in the alley. I took a deep breath and sighed. My head rolled to the left and I made a face. "Sorry for blasting you." I grumbled. "It's ok Mi Amour. Blood lust was setting in. It happens to lots of newborns. No one is angry, more thankful that you didn't accidentally kill them. It isn't unheard of and you are well special." Gilbert said moving to rub my arm, I leaned. "You certainly wandered off far. Luckily, you weren't covering your tracks at all." "Yeah well I wasn't thinking to clearly. Still not. I am not sure if this is real or not. If I am real or not. I had a thought maybe that blood is pooling in the back of my head and has been since I was a small child and this is all some chemical fantasy from being bed ridden." I chuckled at voicing the thought aloud. "Well no one can claim you aren't creative. Morbid but creative. Though that is a recycled excuse you know." He chuckled back. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Well when you had to get a job as a waitress you started to get clumsy from the long hours. You said you were worried that when you fell asleep on your back the blood was pooling in the back of your head effecting your cerebellum which effects your motor skills." He gave a full throated life now. "I did didn't I? You know same excuse twice in my life there must be some truth there and therefore must be the reality of the situation."

"Come on Vander that is a cop out. I know this is a hard to swallow but.." "It's not." I replied cutting him off. "What do you mean it's no, what's not?" he asked. "It's not hard to swallow, I mean I just I fell so fast for Jacob the Cullens it was all to easy. Life isn't like that and certainly not my life." I placed my hand on his thigh and gave a shaky smile. "I mean what being hungry and alone for a week two at the most made me attack you, and we had a lot more of a basis of a relationship then Jacob and I had. I can't believe I was taken in like that." Gilbert sighed and moved his hand on mine. "Don't blame yourself. You always wanted to believe the best in people. You did with me and it brought out the best in me. Maybe you were a little to trusting after being so alone and frightened, but you know , maybe you brought out something in them too and made it easier for them to love you." I upturned my palm and grasped his hand like it was the only real thing in this world.

"Vander." he whispered my name his body drawing closer to mine. "Yes?" I asked. "I want to hear you say you want to stay with me. Say you believe me and you are ready to be with me again." I purred softly in the back of my throat. "You always were kinky like that." I paused and wetted my lips. "I want to stay with you, and I am ready to be with you again. Just not in a dirty alley." I grinned. "Fair enough, only if you trade me Wal-mart." he grinned at me. "No way, one Wal-mart even in Italy is low class and for two when would we ever be at Wal-mart, and three kids go to Wal-mart, we can't do it in front of kids." "Hey they gotta learn some time." He laughed. For some reason having our old play fight about sex in Wal-mart made me feel better.

"Ok, enough of this retail store talk. Lets go back, I am tired of being dirty. I suppose I should make some apologies when we get back and whatever." I sighed. "Ok let's go then. Only no apologies, I already made them to the people that matter and they understand. We need to get you set up here though you know? We will start slow and work our way out. Once we do that we can set you up with a guard detail." Gilbert said pushing himself off the ground. He reached down to take the hand he had let fall. "Let's get you home." I took his hand and let him pull me to my feet. "Only if you let me play in that huge tub again." I smiled. "Only if you let me join." He returned my smile.


	5. Deal Breaker

Despite the teasing there was no sex in the bathtub. Gilbert was respecting my boundaries, perhaps almost snapping his arm off had made him cautious. Who knew? On the bright side I found clothes that weren't all black. After the long bath Gilbert produced two bathrobes, a deep blue terrycloth for himself, and a kimono cut red silken robe with black beads embroidered on it. I padded from the bathroom having officially tamed my curls with a brush instead of fingers.

Gilbert laid across the bed stretching his long frame as long as it would go, when you are over six three that is pretty long. "Mmm Vander that was nice." he purred at me. It had been nice, we had just floated in the tub until the water grow cold letting the tension wash away from our bodies. We questioned each other about the lives we had lead since we parted. He had wanted to know what it was like for me, first hand. His face darkened when I mentioned the trip to Kansas City.

I shook my head clearing the recent memories and smiled. "It was nice, I forgot how it used to be between us." He chuckled and shook his head. "What?" I asked. It was a habit of his to simply find something about me to laugh at and then made a game of not telling me. "Nothing." he responded. I made a face my nose crinkling. "Oh not fair, using that little button of a nose on me. You know I can't hold out against that." he whined. "Well then spill it." I said making myself comfortable on the edge of the bed. "It is just strange that is all." He shrugged. "What is?" I asked. "Well you are twenty eight, but you have always looked young for your age so I would say twenty fourish, and I have always looked old for my age, and I got stuck at twenty one looking twenty fourish. We finally match." I grinned. "Yeah I guess so." "The best part is we have forever to look perfect together." He moved towards me and then paused. "You won't rip my arm from my socket will you?" he asked. "Maybe, try and find out." I said playfully.

Gilbert moved his arm around my waist and paused for my reaction. I simply let it lay there. "I suppose we should be doing something productive." I sighed finally. He grumbled and sat up. "What?" I asked. "You, you have been and always be such a tease. You let me touch you and just when I think Goal! You say something like 'Oh lets go to the store.' or 'We should be doing something productive.'" He complained. "Hey you know how I am. You don't like it spend eternity with someone else." I shrugged nonchalantly. "That is the problem, you might be the biggest tease in the world, but I wouldn't have it another way. I just have urges, manly urges." I laughed. "You better get an Xbox then babe." "Ok we will put that on the list." He said all business like. "What list?" I asked. "Well Caius, and Marcus want you to make a list of the things you need. You know magic wise. They already know that if you don't work magic sometimes it works itself and they would rather that not happen." I nodded. It made sense.

"Well I would prefer to get the tings myself, but I guess after last night they aren't wanting me out and about anytime soon." I sighed. "Vander, I know that you were brought here in less then favorable means, but it had to be done. But they aren't monsters. The Volturi are civilized. They really do want you to be a part of this, but you aren't a prisoner here. Simply tell them you prefer to pick the things out yourself to make sure everything is right. They will understand. Besides they are grateful no one died when you lost it last night." he pulled himself up and leaned closer into me. He tiled my head exposing the left expanse of my neck. He let his lips rub over the expanse and nipped at it playfully. "Gil.." I purred. "You love it." he whispered in my ear before descending to suck on the scar tissue there.

I felt my body melt to his in utter surrender. He moved a little and pulled me into his lap. He cuddled my body into his. I moved on of his hands under my robe and placed it on my bare hip. I felt his body shudder with need for me as he let his hand travel slowly up my bare side. "God Vander it has been so long. So long." He spoke in a deep husky voice. I bit my lip and sucked on it then let my teeth rub over my lower lip as I released it making it a darker pink. "Well I do need to go to store. Herbs and bottles." I gave a low husky chuckle.

"Oh no, Vander if you really don't want this then say so, but if you do then just let it happen." He growled almost dangerously. "No Jake I…" I closed my eyes and launched myself from him. "I am sorry. I am so sorry." I stumbled over the words. "No, it's alright… you spent a lot of time with him and we look alike. It is ok you aren't ready." He said quickly. I stayed silent I don't know what to say.

"Come on." He stood up and offered me his hand. "Let's change and go work out. We still have some time before they let us out. I sparkle, you don't but still wouldn't want you getting lost again." He grinned. I took his hand and went to the closet. We took out matching black jogging pants and tank tops. I added a sports bra and then some black pumas and we were ready. "We work out a lot here so, they have a good facility." I nodded still afraid my mouth would betray me.

He lead me a short way down the hall and opened a door. I laughed at the contrast, a perfectly modern gym in complete with mirrors but between the mirrors was the old stone walls. "I know right." Gilbert squeezed my hand and let it fall. "I will be over there doing the decline press." He pointed at the bench press that pointed downward. I nodded and moved over to a heavy punching bag. Felix was there working on a speed bag. "Your fast." I nodded. "I guess you want to have a go?" I shrugged. "I was hoping you would spot my bag for me." I motioned to the heavier bag. "Well lets see how fast you are then I will." he nodded. I shrugged and moved as he stepped aside. I stopped the bag and gave it a few punches to let it start swaying. I started punching faster my hand and the bag were a blur. "Holy fuck, you are fast." Felix said wide eyes. I grinned and really started to cut loose on the bag.

I kept it going for a few minutes longer all the while upping my speed. I stopped and turned to smile at Felix. He was wide eyed at me and he wasn't the only one. Almost every set of eyes were on me. "What?' I asked. "That was fast, so fast our eyes couldn't keep up." Felix said. "Ok, well that's cool." I said not sure I was getting the point. "Well will you spot my bag now?" I asked. "I hope I can, if you are strong as you are fast I won't be able to." I crinkled my nose and laughed. "I'll take it easy on you." I punched his arm playfully but in truth I put quite a bit of force into the punch. "That hurt." he said his eyes narrowing. "Guess I forgot how strong I was." I shrugged.

Felix backed away. "I forgot I have to make up an excuse to avoid you." I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Whatever." I set my shoulder and started to work the bag over. I was careful to not hit the bag as it swung back and move my body so it would not hit me. I started punching harder then I would if I was just working out. I had a lot of built up frustration. Suddenly the bag stopped moving and I looked around it. "I thought holding your bag would be a lot more of a challenge then bench pressing inverted." Gilbert said softly. "Thanks." I said setting to be stable not move. I started to really work the bag over. After a few minutes Gilbert stopped me. "Ok Vander let's do something else. I can't hold that bag anymore." I shook my head. "No nothing is really a challenge. You stay though. " I smiled weakly. "Alright, well you go straight back to the room." I nodded and left the gym. I made the way back to our little room and closed the door.

I sat down and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and held it then let it out. Instead of trying to clear my mind I needed clarity on Jacob. I let my consciousness slip from my body, but instead of slipping to nothingness for thinking room I found myself slipping somewhere else. I found myself standing in my bedroom.

Hailey was in the bed curled up Jacob and Sam talking quietly to themselves. Jacob's face was twisted in some emotion torn between anger and sadness. I instantly walked to him and placed my hand on his face cupping it. Instantly he relaxed. "Jake what's wrong?" Sam asked. Before he could answer Hailey sat up. "Mommy! Mommy is here! Can you hear me Mommy?" My heart swelled. "I am here baby right here." Jacob and Sam looked at Hailey. "Hails.. Mommy is…" "She is here I can feel her. She is right by you Daddy" Hailey asserted. She climbed off the bed and came to were I was standing. "I can feel you Mommy. You are so sad and lost. Why can't you come back Mommy?" "I am with the Volturi, in Italy. I miss you Hails I miss you and your Dad so much." I knelt down and touched her face. She placed her small hands on mine. "I can feel her, she is here touching me. Daddy the Volturi have her. They told her you kidnapped her and raped her. She tried to find Uncle Edward and Aunt Alice but she couldn't. She thinks she is crazy and she doesn't know what is real. What do you mean Mommy? I am real. Daddy is real, we love you Mommy we love you." She cried out. "I love you to my Hailey. I miss you." I felt myself wanting to cry.

I looked up at Jacob and wished I could really be there. He would hold me and tell me it would be alright, he would kiss my hair, and remind me what it was to be warm, he would protect me. "Daddy Mommy misses you and wants you to hold her." Hailey said. Jacob's eyes welled with tears. He bent down and touched her hands. "Mommy is here holding your face?" he asked. Hailey nodded and Jacob's tears started to spill form his eyes.

"Vander!" My body was being shaken. I opened my eyes and was pulled from the scene. I looked up into Gilbert's face. "What were you doing? You were so still, I thought something was wrong." he said. I shook my head. "No I was simply meditating. Clearing my head you know?" I said standing up. "Oh, it just it frightened me that is all." He took my hands and kissed the tips of each of my fingers. I pulled my hands away. "Don't." the soft word escaped my lips. "Why not?" He asked raising his brow. "I just, can't.." I said softly. "Because of your slip before?" He asked.

I didn't want to admit that I thought I had astral projected into my old life. Or had I dreamed that to? I couldn't have, Jacob's face had been so real, Hailey's small hands her certainly that I was with them. "I just, the gym. I am so much stronger then you." He grinned and flexed his muscles. "Aw I think I can handle myself. If I catch you by surprise." He laughed. I made a face that was all seriousness. "Don't." "Again with the don't. You were always stronger then me, I mean maybe not physically but I mean you could kill me with a snap of your fingers. I am used to the idea by now. It never made you shy before." He said. "This is not before." I said shrugging. "Is this about him?" He asked.

I shook my head but couldn't think of something to say with the motion. "Then what?" He asked trying to pull me to him. "Well, it just is strange, everyone here I get. I mean I am a rocking witch that little brat Jane is all telekinetic torture. But what do you bring?" I asked. I was getting better at this lying thing. "I pacify you." he joked. "Funny, your not doing a great job of it." I replied pulling away. "Just stop it ok? What the fuck? Stop Jesus, He kidnapped you! He raped you and made a fool out of you. Stop pulling away pretending like your afraid of hurting me. You aren't a good liar and never have been. I love you Vander. I would give anything to have you love me don't you understand?" Gilbert yelled. Yelling matches, this was something I excelled at.

"Well you know what? You can't rape the willing, and every single time Jake and I had sex I was more then willing. So the only fool I can see here is you. You dragged a girl you haven't seen in years half way across the world, to have her tell you no." I yelled back. "You weren't saying no on the bed when I was feeling you up." he shot back. "Notice I said yes to Jake, not to you." It was a cheep shot but effective. Gilbert staggered as if I had used my strength on him. "I can't understand why, he is a flea bag, a disgusting flea bag. He used you, if you were so important to him then where the hell is he? Where the hell are any of them? They don't care about you. You were useful so they kept you around, but not so useful as for them to look for their favorite toy." He had started off yelling but had grown quite by the end, it drove the point home more then yelling ever could. "Nothing to say now Vander?" he asked coming toward me.

I stepped back and shook my head. "No, you don't get some magic pass where you can say anything to me and then act like it is alright." I said quietly. I felt my pretty face twisted in hate. "I need to feed, being a newborn and all." I turned and headed for the door. "Yes Vander, go crawl into a sewer somewhere and feast on rats. You have nothing without us." He said to my fleeting back. "At least they are better company and they have a talent, unlike you." I said over my shoulder as I left the room.

People, well vampires were watching the door as I left it. Most of them pretended to go about whatever it was the Volturi did except one. "Trouble in paradise?" Jane asked. "This is no paradise it is much more of a hell then I could have ever fashioned." I responded. "Oh that was clever, I pictured you more as a 'Go fuck yourself' type of person." She shrugged. I hated her, I wanted to make her hurt more then she could ever know. "I have my moments." I said instead. "Oh back to your witless repartee." She mused. "How is that brother of yours? Healing a broken neck, that takes a while right?" I asked making a sound like I cared. "He is healing right but barely? I mean that is pretty hardcore, pretty close to dying don't cha think? What nothing to say now Jane? Bet it just kills you to know I could heal him good as new." I shrugged and waved my hands at her as if it were nothing. "A potion here and a couple of words, " I snapped my fingers. "and before you know it he is good as gold. Of course with the equal snap of my fingers he could be dust in the wind." I grinned.

Jane lunged at me her fingers into claws. I grabbed the front of her shirt and threw her behind me as if she were a piece of laundry being shot toward the hamper. Over the shoulder for style points. She hissed and scrambled to her feet, not really all that intimidating. I braced myself because I knew her special power was about to come into play. "Enough! Jane perhaps you should remember what I have declared." Marcus said, his voice was loud and commanding, it made you want to rebel and obey in the same breath. "But she…" Jane began in her small voice. "Defended herself from your attack. The last I checked hostile words are not an attack." Marcus rang out. I didn't need a mirror to tell me I looked smug.

"Vander you should make an effort to fit in more. I heard you quarreled with Felix and Gilbert. I come to discus this with you and find you sharpening your claws on little Jane." He said turning to me now. It was Jane's turn to look smug, but I wasn't done yet. "Well she started it, if you Volturi don't want shit from me then don't start it with me. I already owe you a big pile of manure for kidnapping me, don't dig yourself deeper. Because Marcus a little tip, I always win." I winked and sucked air in my mouth and clicked my tongue making the sound of a gun being cocked. "Really? My dearest mage what do you think you are winning at?" He asked his eyes narrowing. "Well despite what I have been told I know a prison when I see it. I might not be in that cage anymore but I sure as shit can't leave can I? Maybe if I am a big enough pain in your parchment pasty ass you will kick me out." I replied coolly. "You are not a prisoner here, shall I accompany you to the door?" he asked. "Yeah, I'll just be on my merry with my stuff and get out of your hair. Oh wait you guys took my things from me." I made a face. "No, you were barefoot when you came to us." Oh yeah being abducted from your own birthday party you don't exactly go into that situation prepared.

"Fair enough, then spot me some Euro and I can go elsewhere." I shrugged. "Dearest Vander, you might not be a prisoner here but you are valuable. If you wish to leave then by all means do so, but I will not make it easy for you to do so." He gestured as if his hands were tied in the matter. "Oh and what use am I?" I asked. Stupid question, I could light up people like they were Christmas trees. "Well you can day walk in any light with no repercussions. You could be the face of our business that we could wholly trust. Your value as a warrior is unparalleled, you are incredibly beautiful, very modern which we are not." He paused to run a gaunt skinned finger over my shoulder. "Your use is endless." I laughed and shrugged his hand off. "I guess I am the best and most powerful weapon is your arsenal." I smiled wickedly. "You would agree?" he asked. He looked shocked at the statement. "With conditions of course." "Of course quid pro quo. Name your terms." He spread his hands as if to indicate anything I asked I would get.

"Well I want money, I have need for it. My own rooms, that is where the money comes into play. Free reign of my money, as long as I don't use it to flee." I paused. "Of course, with out any hesitation." He nodded. "Now comes the difficult part. Are you ready for this cause it's the deal breaker." "Anything you ask and it is yours." "I want Edward Cullen as my bedmate." I licked my lips as if I were having perverse thoughts about Edward. "He is still in Italy, along with Alice. I will see what I can work out. He might take a fair bit of persuasion. " somehow I knew that translated into torture. "Then by all means start persuading." I said sharply.


	6. Traitor

Marcus and I walked together at a fast pace toward the main room. Apparently he wanted to tell the others the good news that I had finally crossed. "To what do we owe the change?" Aro asked. "Well, I love power." I shrugged as if it explained it all. "If you could please expand on your answer Vander. I am not sure we grasp at your meaning." Caius said. "Well lets be blunt. Playing housewife is not an option for me any longer. I already am a rocking witch. I rule on the metaphysical level. It was implied to me by Marcus that on a mortal level of money I could be set as a day face for your companies. I assumed that with that level of power concerning your company that I would be invaluable to you and secure my spot here as a ruling Volturi." The three ancient vampires stood silently. "Was I wrong to assume that? Surely you did not think that would be content as a puppet. Marcus made it very clear that my talents make me invaluable. I am unparalleled am I not?" I paused briefly. "Did you really think such a sword as I would not have a double edge?"

"Quid pro quo indeed Vander Astran. You will do that which we require but only for your own personal benefit. Then why do you require the conditions you set in the hall?" Marcus asked. "Conditions? What conditions?" Aro asked looking between Marcus and myself. "Well I require my own quarters, money to use as I see fit as long as I do not attempt to flee, and Edward Cullen." I said completely straight faced. "No negations." I shook my head to emphasize the point. "We have provided you with a mate, quarters, and money can be made available to you." Caius waved his hand as if my request were nothing.

"Well they are not adequate. Remember, I am not the one who needs you. I ask for these things as a show of good faith on your part. Gilbert is a thing from my childhood and to much like my last lover. I will not share his bed nor his rooms. If I am to have my own rooms I need someone to warm my bed. I am ill-equipped to furnish this for myself. I am partial to the Cullen clan, they share my same diet so they make fitting companions. I will not have a woman, and I do not think I could overpower Carlisle. This leaves the three boys, I think that Jasper and Emmett are to big of a physical threat for anyone to be comfortable with. So that leaves Edward. I also happen to know you happen to like his little mind trick. Really Edward Cullen is a logical win-win situation. Is it not?" I asked waving my hands in the motion that was starting to bug me about the older vampires.

"Well my my, someone is a little pit bull." Caius laughed. I flashed my best and most dangerous smile at them. "You have no idea." I could feel my smile become more dangerous and my nose crinkle with the words. "Well it seems you did make a good choice with this one Aro." Marcus beamed at the other vampires that betrayed his words. He was taking full credit for my crossing. "Now that we are done basking in my luminosity and practicality I suggest we get to work."

"Practical indeed. We have many rooms, Gilbert can show you to one fitting for you, your clothes will be moved and you may start furnishing it how you see fit within the hour." Caius nodded and sent for someone to get Gilbert. "What of Cullen?" I asked. "Well, he has been here each night with that little pixie sister of his inquiring after you. I do not imagine tonight will be any different." Aro shrugged as if the matter were simple. I fought to control the anger that was rising up in me. "I apologize my deer, you were unwell." Aro smiled. "As long as I get my way, it matters not." I shrugged.

Gilbert came into the room and gave a stiff bow. "You requested me?" He asked. "Yes, it seems that our Vander has grown weary of your company and she seeks other quarters. Please take her to the south wing and show her the apartments there." Marcus commanded. "I don't understand, the south wing is nearly empty. People only go there to use the exit." He raised his brow. "Well, she will need her privacy and easy access to an exit for her day to day comings and goings. Unless you wish to question our wisdom further?" Caius asked his brow raised. "No, as you wish." he nodded.

I followed after Gilbert a few steps behind him. "Why?" he asked stopping once we had walked a ways from the main room. "Why what?" I asked my brow raised. "Why am I not good enough for you?" He asked turning to face me now. "Well, Gilbert, you and I are not suited for one another." I said as coldly as I could manage. It's a lot harder then you think. You try telling someone that you thought you would spend the rest of your life with that 'sorry babe you , me, and eternity. Not going to happen.' "Not suited? What does that even mean?" He asked making large gestures with his hands.

I bit my lip and scrunched my nose. "We just aren't ok? I thought that we were, and once upon a time we were. But we are different people now." I said softly. I touched his arm softly. Discarding Gilbert was hurting more then it should have. "Because of Jacob?" he asked his face livid, almost impossible mottled. "I told you I can wait. If that means you have some separate rooms for a while then fine. But know that I waited for you a long time. I can wait more." "Let's just go, I don't think you want to do this." I warned softly.

"Do what? Just spit it out Vander." "I don't want you. It's not the same, it's not. I feel like every time I get close it is out of some obligation I feel from our past. I don't want you. I picked some one else to be my mate." I said exploding at him. "Who is it?" He asked softly. "It doesn't matter." I shook my head. "WHO?" he roared. "Edward." "There isn't an Edward here." He shook his head in his certainty. "Cullen, Edward Cullen." I tilted my head. "Why? He helped… he helped Jacob." His hands were shaking. "I know him, and I am comfortable with him." I began. "You know me!" He shot cutting me off. "He is useful to me. He can be a productive mate, he can help me with my plans." I touched his face and looked into his eyes. It was hard to believe but I realized I felt nothing. The fire I used to feel for him was not there. I could have been meeting him for the first time.

He pushed me away from him and snarled at me. "End of this hall is the exit first door on the left is your rooms. He growled and turned walking away. I should have apologized and stopped him. Took him in my arms and apologized, warned him to flee from me next time he saw me, anything but let him walk away.

--

I stood back by the doorway and smiled at my work. A white beige and black Asian themed room matched the décor far better then my usual style sense of coz American classic. They had no lied when they had said I had no limit on my credit card. It was a nice feeling to have money again. Funny thing was the sales people started speaking very good English at the sight of the little black plastic.

I looked down at my watch and sighed. I had also shopped for clothes at Dolce and Gabbana and got a cute Spy me watch. It was an outfit to do Alice and rose proud. Speaking of which Edward and Alice were waiting for me in the big meeting room. I bit my lip and left the room behind taking long strides to the central meeting room. It was time to put on my game face.

I walked into the room my body going to stone to not go to Alice and hug her. They were really there standing not ten feet from me. I had spent hours chasing after them the night before and there they were. "Vander!" Alice squealed and came to hug me. I raised my brow and did not embrace her back. "You look amazing Dolce?" She asked. I raised both brows and stepped away. "Please don't touch me." I said shaking my head. I cast up a shield against Edward. "Vander what is wrong?" Alice asked. "Well I just learned that I spent two years being alone and brainwashed and the last six living a lie." Alice started to open her mouth but I raised a hand to silence her. "Silence. I want no excuses. I want only Edward, nothing more."

Alice stepped back her face confused. Edward's eyes narrowed at me. "I won't stay here." He shook his head. "I am afraid you don't have a choice. I am going to keep you Edward, I need a companion and your family owes me for feeding me lies and feeding me to the wolves." I said sternly. "You know that isn't true." Alice said looking horrified. "I don't know anything except that here I can amass power and wealth beyond anything I have dreamed of. With Edward at my side." I felt an evil grin spread over my face. "You can see the future Alice. You know it is true just look and see my words are true." I extended my hand to them.

Alice face went blank, her I am seeing things face. "Vander stop this you can't be serious." Edward said looking at me. "I am completely serious. Edward, you will be my mate and help me to gain power." As I spoke Edward projected into my head. 'Stop this game tomorrow night we will wait for you at the Four Seasons and we will flee.' I could tell from his face that it was causing him pain to break through my barrier. "Your face betrays you Edward." Caius smiled. "That it does, don't fight me Edward it will be less painful. If you don't fight I will even promise that I won't have Bella killed." I smiled sweetly tilting my head. "You wouldn't, she is like your sister." he was strangely calm in his words but his body was ridged.

"No Vander you can't.." Alice gasped coming out of her trance. "You can't really mean to?" I shot her a dangerous glare. "I do intend to. It must be done, don't you see Alice. It's the only way for me to finally be safe. I will ensure the future for myself." I nodded. I hoped she had seen what I wanted to come to pass. "Edward." She grasped his arm as if afraid to let him go. "It's alright Alice we are leaving." 'Remember Vander tomorrow night we will flee.' Edward said. "No Edward, the only one to flee will be Alice." I took a step closer and they both set their bodies in defensive crouches.

In that moment I had no idea if we were playing or not but I raised my hand and struck Edward down with a bolt of lighting and held him there struggling against an air barrier. "Flee Alice flee. If you come back here I will have the whole Cullen clan killed as a warning then you will be next if you are still here when the night falls." I knelt down by Edward and stroked his struggling face. "Alright Vander alright." Alice said bowing and leaving quickly.

"That was well played Vander. I was not sure you could do it." Aro nodded. "Compliment me when I have broken Edward Astran." "I am a Cullen" he spat. "No you are mine now, Astran Edward. Astran." "I will not belong to you. I belong with Bella. You are a traitor." He spat the words at me. "Shh Edward, I will have you, one way or the other. I can be a cruel mistress." I sent a shock through his body. It pained me to do so but better me then them. I would pull my punches they would not. "Or a kind one. Your choice." I kissed his cheek. He snapped his head and took a bite out of my face. Blood staining his lips. "Vander!" Aro said in a worried voice.

I stood and shook my head a gaping hole in my face. "I am fine, please have some food brought for us. He will need it after he pays for this indiscretion." I motioned at my face. "Quickly if you please before this mars my perfection any longer then necessary. Now leave us all of you. He will learn to respect me." I said my voice lowering an octave. They hesitated. "I said leave us!" I roared. The room emptied quickly.

"Now Edward, that was very disgraceful, surely your manners are better then that." I said the door closing. I took my left arm and snapped my arm with a sharp crack. Edward watched me with wide eyes. 'What are you doing?' He asked trying to scramble away from me. I had clearly lost my mind. "I will hear you scream Edward Astran." I roared and dislocated my shoulder. The only thing that kept me from screaming out in pain was letting my mind barrier down. Edward screamed, though from horror of my plan or my self mutilation I was unsure. My arm was starting to heal itself and my shoulder was working to pop back into place. "Oh such a lovely sound." 'Cradle your arm Edward do not be so stupid.' My thought and words syncing up as the door opened. Felix lead in two calves one for me and one for Edward presumably. "Now leave." I said without turning. "Vander…" Felix began. I sent a shock through Edward his body bowing in pain. To his credit he held his arm limply.

"Unless you would like to join Edward on the floor leave." I commanded. Felix left the calves cowering in the corner. "Good now that we are alone I can finally play with you." I grinned. I let a bolt loose on myself my flesh searing. Edward moved to come to me but I shook my head. 'I am supposed to be torturing you. They are most likely listening I need you to scream, beg, cry, anything.' Edward nodded and started to cry. "Please Vander make it stop." He whimpered. "Say your name Edward Astran. Giver yourself to me." I said softly. "I will heal you Edward, make it all stop. I can make you feel so good." I cooed. "I can't…" He trailed off in sobs. 'Now, you are vital to my plans Edward, I can't do this alone. You are fast, strong, and smart, and the least threatening and most believable of my options so please I need you to pretend for me.' I begged. 'Why?' he asked. I snapped my arm again. "Give yourself to me Edward." I said softly. I went to him and stroked his face. I let electricity dance over my skin not bothering to shield myself but instead Edward. He screamed in his head and vocally. 'Will you stop that, it is crazy.' 'Better me then you trust me Edward.' 'Why do you want to kill the Volturi, they said you can leave.' he asked again continuing to scream. "Oh Edward come now say your name and I will put an end to all of this…" I cooed aloud. 'They kidnapped me, if I leave what stops them from doing it again? What of my daughter she is almost seven the same age as Jane. The only way I can stop them for good is to kill them. I need your help Edward. If it comes to it I need you to get out and tell them I love them ,and I would die loving them then live any other way. Promise me Edward.' He gave one last scream and nodded. "Edward Astran." He said in a broken voice.

"Good my little pet now lets get you healed up. Feast my pet feast." As I spoke my body began to drag it's self toward the calves. I pounced and sunk my teeth into the screaming calves. As I drank my wounds began to right themselves. Edward tentatively joined me taking the other one. We shared in the feast until we were satisfied. 'Now I need to draw a rune on you to block Aro for he will touch you. I need you to only think of Edward Astran like I broke you.' He nodded and raised his shirt. Under his arm I drew a barrier rune blocking off most of his mind. He would look mad to the ancient vampire. He began projecting the thought loudly. "I am Edward Astran." Over and over again like a broken record. I nodded and rose from the corpses.

I opened the doors to find the trio waiting. Edward still projecting and standing submissively behind me. "Vander… that was rather cruel of you." Caius said almost amused. Aro reached out and grabbed Edward. "I want to make sure he is not play acting." Funny how people viewing you as a torturer makes them not question you. Aro almost threw Edward away form him. "You have broken him! All he knows is that he is Edward Astran." he said disgusted. "Well then I will train him to our uses. Now if you excuse me I have a little training to start off with." I reached toward Edward and brought his face to my own. "If that is alright?" I asked tracing my lips across his cheek. "By all means tart training him." Aro said clearly upset at Edward's mental state.

I started away from them Edward in tow. Aro was arguing with Caius and Marcus that I was out of control when it involved Edward. They reasoned there was no harm in me having a pet. I took him to my end of the hall and paused. I set up wards to alert us to people coming our way so we could resume our little play. Then I took him to my room and shut the door. "That was amazing it was like he wasn't able to get anything but my surface thoughts." Edward exclaimed. "That was the point. But good job." I nodded. I heard a phone vibrating in his pocket. "Well better answer to them." I motioned.

Edward took out his phone. "Yes?" "Edward, you have to trust Vander. She hasn't betrayed us it is an act." I heard Alice breathlessly. "I know, something about her breaking her own arm once we were in private for them to think I was being tortured was pretty good hint." He replied. "She thinks she will kill them all." He sighed looking at me. Somehow I got the idea he still thought I was a few fries short of a happy meal. "No, she is going to do it Edward, you both are. Carlisle thinks it is a bad idea." She sighed. "Well it is, this aside they are a good thing for vampires." he said biting his cheek. "Really, really come on Edward think about Bella, how unreasonable they were with her? Besides, if they fear the Volturi, they will fear the women who killed them more." I said shrugging it off. "Well just get out alive both of you that is what matters." Alice chuckled a little. "What is it?" Edward asked. "Jasper and Emmett are jealous Vander didn't pick them." she replied. "Well they don't have the ability that Edward has, and they think he is weak. He was the perfect choice." I paused and looked at Edward.

I thought about Jacob and hearing his voice being able to tell him it was alright. I shook my head, the faster we got rid of the phone the better. Edward sighed. "Alice we have got to let you go. If we are going under I need to call Bella, and Jacob would rip me apart if he found out he could have heard from her and she didn't do it." "Ok, yeah Jake has been a mess."

Edward hung up and tossed the phone at me. "No we need to turn it off and save it for when we need to get out." I offered the phone to him. Truthfully I didn't think I could be strong and cutthroat with Jacob on the other end. "Look, you need this, he needs this, Hails needs this. I'll let Alice explain to Bella if keeping the hone use down is that important. Vander you need to touch reality you are dangerously close to losing it." He sighed and pushed the phone in my hand toward me. I nodded in defeat. I had always been an all or nothing girl, and I was going for it all about to have nothing. "And they call me emo." Edward laughed.

I snatched the phone and found Jacob's number. First ring, he picked up on the first ring. "Edward what did they say?' he asked. "Jake?" I asked softly. "Vand? Is that you?" I could hear tears welling up in his words. "Yeah baby, it's me. I miss you so much." "When is your plane getting in, Hails and I will be there." He said. "Well I don't know. I have to stay here a bit longer." I bit my lip. "What why? Are they holding you there? I will come for you Vander." "No, stop, stop it's not like that. I struck a deal with them, and once I get all my ducks in a row I am going to kill them Jake. It's the only way we can ever be safe. If I try and do a smash and grab, it won't work and I might die or worse. This is my war Jake." I said softly. "Then let us come there the pack can be on a plane and then we can do a smash and grab." He said. I could hear his fighting voice surfacing. "No, what if we both die who would take care of Hails? No this will not cost the pack. It won't. I will do this with Edward, then we will come home." "You don't have to do this alone Vand." He said softly. "Yes I do… I love you Jacob Black. Nothing will ever change that." "I love you too Vander Black. The other day… the other day were you?" Tears were hitting the receiver now. "Yes, I was there. I thought I was going crazy, and you brought me clarity Jake. You and my Hails. I got to go Jake." "Alright Vander, please some time…" "Every night Jake, every night." I closed my eyes. "I promise every night, now good bye Jake." "Good bye, come back to me Vand." I hung up the phone and threw it to Edward. "Call Bella then turn it off and hide it."


	7. Lies

I pulled Edward into my office my mouth locked to his and kicked the door shut. Once it was closed I flew away from him wiping my mouth. I had been a dry open mouth kiss like used on the stage but still it was gross. Edward chuckled and started knocking stuff around the office. It was a daily routine with us. When we first got to the office we would put on a big show for the human servant that was my secretary. I sat down at my desk and started to groan as if Edward and I were vigorously making love. I started to read the memos on my desk blocking out Edward's huffing. When we were doing this we never spoke.

A few moments later we finished. I rolled my eyes as Edward grinned at me. 'Come on it is a little funny.' he said. 'No it isn't but it's a good thing it is you and not Jasper or Emmett. I would really go crazy if Jasper asked me to cuddle or Emmett teased me about really wanting the big Em.' I was sarcastic. I had gotten good at being sarcastic in our mind conversations. 'Aw you to want to cuddle with me? Are you using me just for my body Vand?' I let out a giggle. "Edward stop." 'Really stop, the idea of us is to funny.' I held in a silent giggle.

I had always been more partial to Alice, Rose, Jasper, Emmett, even Bella to Edward. I had hated how he could see right through me and get to the heart of the matter, he had stripped me of my defenses when we first met. Over the years I had gotten used to him but the relationship I had with the others just wasn't there. Now I depended on him almost wholly for sentient contact. Edward came around the desk and took some of the papers and gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. 'Being each others only solace in this world can do that Vand.' He gave a dry Edward smile and started to sort through the papers. Honestly he was much better at running the Volturi's affairs then I was.

I sat back and sighed. Everyday was the same. We went to the office and did some work which really was delegating work to the different departments. Then went home to the Volturi and played politics there. Edward acting more and more like himself each day but still enthralled with me. Sometimes we would go out and hunt, others we would go on the town and I would blow exorbitant amounts of money like it was going out of style to convince the Volturi I was in love with the money. The trio thought they could control me with the money and keep me with it. I let them think it.

My phone rang and I pressed the button. "What is it Marguerite? I do not take calls before one and I have no appointments." I said sounding angry even to me. "Forgive me, but the Masters wish to speak with you. They say it is urgent." "If it is so urgent why did you just not patch them through?" I asked as if that was the most natural thing in the world. "Forgive me, I'll do so now." There was a beep then my phone started to sound off with a call in earnest.

I pushed the speaker button. "Aro, Marcus, Caius. What can I do for you?" "Well there is a problem with Alphonso." Aro said. "I am not aware of an Alphonso." I commented back. "Well, I suppose not. Gilbert rather." Aro said smugly. "I don't understand." I said my face confused. "Well you see my dearest Vander, Aro scryed your memory and found Gilbert." Marcus said almost in a scared tone. "And?" I asked. "Well Caius and Marcus thought it would be a good idea for you to have a familiar face, so they had Alphonso a vampire with the ability to change his shape take Gilbert's form and your memories together. Well they were so strong that they over took Alphonso's personality. He believes he is Gilbert." "I see. Well that explains some things. Now that seems to be not a problem, just let him continue on as Gilbert." I was sounding nonchalant but in reality anger was rolling off of me.

"Well that is not the problem. The problem is that he is convinced he can win you back through Edward's death." Caius explained. "Well then detain him." I sighed as if stating the obvious. "Well we tried and he alluded us. He is somewhere in Volterra laying in wait." Aro said still smug. "Well thank you for informing me. Clearly I will handle the matter after my work day is finished, or before then if he comes here." I said simply. "Alright, well good. As always please do nothing in the public view." Aro commented being down right smug at the two other's failure. "Of course." I hung up and sighed.

"Are you ok with this?" Edward asked. "I don't know. I felt compelled to try with him because of what we had, but I felt nothing. I guess I know why." I shrugged and went back to working. "I mean about killing him." Edward said taking paperwork from my hands. "I suppose I have no other choice." "I asked if you were ok." He said looking me in the eye. "I guess I have to be ok with it don't I? I can't let him kill you." I placed a hand on his shoulder. 'Bella would never forgive me.' I grinned at him. 'No she wouldn't.' He chuckled silently. My eyes flickered to the clock on the computer and looked back at him. 'Go…' He sighed. 'I'll check on Bella too.' I smiled and went to the couch from the desk letting Edward take over the work.

Bella was sitting in the living room with Jasper, Emmett, Alice and Rosalie. "Can you guys feel that?" Jasper asked looking up. I beamed good ol' Jasper could sense my feelings when I wasn't even physically there. "Vander?" Alice asked. Jasper nodded yes and then I felt my own energy hitting my body as he pumped it stronger into the room. "Holy shit, she is dead." Emmett said jumping up. He came to me and ran his hand through my body. "What the fuck is that?" I asked. "Vand?" Bella asked looking at me her mouth open.

"Can you see me?" I asked. "And hear you." Alice beamed. "Well this is cool I guess Jasper is projecting my essence so strong that I am like really here with you. Stop that Em, it feels weird." I said looking at Emmett still running his hands through my form. "Sorry." He said taking a step back. "At least we know you are dressing well." Rosalie joked. "Yeah, I have them thinking I am in love with money." I shrugged and took a seat. "How is Edward holding up?" Bella asked. "He is ok, we sort of have a routine down. We are getting a lot closer." I nodded. "Well that is good when are you guys coming home?" Jasper asked. "Soonish? I think tonight we have to take care of a little problem. There is a big meeting coming up. They rotate the guards every couple of months so they are reassigning. When they are all gathered I am planning a big weenie roast."

"What about you two?" Bella asked. "Well I am going to shield us, it will be hot and uncomfortable, but everything goes as planned we will walk out of there and get on a plane." I nodded and looked at Alice. She nodded her head. "Good it's set then. Now all we have to do is get some passports and we should be ok." I sighed. "Or you could go to the Four Seasons hotel and pick up the passports I left you." Alice smiled. "Ahh look at that, Alice to the rescue." I grinned half heartedly. "What's the matter?" Jasper asked. I might have tried to hide it if the emotion wasn't pulsing out to everyone in the room. "I just, am a vampire again. You know one day Hails is going to be older then I am. I guess I shouldn't care half of her family is like that." I sighed. "No to mention her lover Embry." Emmett laughed. "Har har, so cleaver." I said sarcastically. I looked down and managed a half smile. It was nice to see everyone again but I really only intended to pop in then go spend time with Jacob and Hailey.

Edward might have been the mind reader but Jasper simply got me. "Well as nice as this is, you should go be with your daughter and husband. I will be sure to tell Esme and Carlisle you uh popped in." Jasper smiled. I looked up giving a true smile. "For sure. Give them my love." I smiled sadly. I really did miss them all, my whole family just waiting back in Forks and La Push for me. "Enough of the sad face Vand we love you to. " Emmett laughed. "What if this is the last time I get to see you?" I asked. "None of that, you and Edward are coming home." Alice said her face set. "I will never rob you guys of Edward but I can't promise myself. I might die, the outcome can change at any second. If it meant keeping you guys safe forever, I would trade my life here and now." I sighed. "Stop it Vand, I get it sometimes you got to do the lone ranger but don't talk like that. Get out if you have to, we can figure it out." Rosalie said her pretty face serious. "I should go, hopefully I'll be home soon. With lots of presents." I tried to smile at the thought. "Get that narrow ass back here so no more moping Hailey and emo wolf will be present enough." Emmett grinned. I simply looked down and thought of Jacob.

I found myself sitting in my expansive kitchen and surrounded not only by Jacob and Hailey but the rest of the pack. Hailey was coloring a picture sitting between Jacob and Embry. I was at the head of the table in the only empty chair. "Mommy is here!" Hailey jumped up and ran to the chair. A smile spread on Jacob's face and he rose to stand beside Hailey. I reached out touching both of them wishing that Jasper was there. "When Jasper is in the room he can make Mommy's feelings so strong that she can talk and be seen." Hailey reported. She was getting good at perceiving my thoughts and telecasting them.

"Well then we will just have to go see uncle Jasper tomorrow then." Jacob said. He tilted his face as if he could feel my hand there. Instantly I knew that I had to live. I wanted them safe it was true but more then that they were my heart. "We make Mommy know she has to live." Hailey smiled. I knew Jacob couldn't see me but his eyes bored through me as if I should never entrain the thought of leaving them. "Mommy knows your mad." Hailey laughed. "Well she shouldn't even think about not coming back. If she thinks she is in danger she should come home and we will deal with it all of us." Rosalie had said the same thing. "Aunt Rose said the same thing to her." Hailey parroted. "Well she is right." Sam nodded. I couldn't but help smile and feel loved. Vampire, wolf, and one little witch all were missing me. I looked at the pack they all nodded their agreements. I had the feeling it wasn't just because they wanted to tear out vampire throats. "Of course not Mommy, we all love you and want you back." Hailey beamed at me. I wanted to take her in my arms right that moment and never let go. Really all of them, I wanted my birthday back, a nice barbeque with my loving family. They were the reason I had to kill the Volturi.

I could feel my body shaking, Edward was pulling me back. I gave a sad smile that no one could see. "Don't be sad Mommy." Hailey voiced before I was pulled back. I opened my eyes to see Edward standing over me. "How were they?" he whispered. "Missing us." I replied barely audible. Edward squeezed my shoulder and I instantly felt guilty that I had pulled him away form that. 'No, if given the choice I would have done it with you again and again.' I smiled and stood up. 'Good, we are almost done here. Smooth sailing from here right?' I nodded. Edward just gave me a reassuring squeeze and one of his trademark crooked smiles.

--

It was with dread in my heart as I stood up to end the day. The thrill I got from hunting was not wound in the pit of my stomach. Instead dread lived there. "Edward, go back home without me and wait in our rooms." I said looking over at him. He shook his head as if it was out of the question. "I don't want you to see this." I said softly. I truthfully didn't know what I would do or how I would react, if I wound up being weak I couldn't put Edward in danger for my feelings for a ghost.

Edward sighed knowing my mind and he would never win. He leaned over and kissed my cheek chastely. 'Just come back. I can't do this without you.' He was being surprisingly genuine when in his place I would have hated me right now. 'Of course if I left you here alone Bells would have my guts made into pretty little garters by Rose and Alice.' I grinned and shouldered on my coat. When we exited I looked at my secretary. "Right Edward will need a car home. I have some things to attend to." I gave him a pretend unchaste kiss and parted ways with him.

I left the building and let my hair loose from the messy but professional up do and let the wind fill my locks. I wanted my scent open and in the air. I wanted Gilbert's doppelganger Alphonso on me not Edward. I walked slowly almost with no intent my Manolos clicking against the pavement. After all why hunt what will come to you. If he really was going after Edward he would need to be hunted but I was betting on a grand romantic gesture. That is what the real Gilbert would have done. Then again I wasn't dealing with the real thing.

I found my body breaking away from the city to go where there were less humans. I found myself looking into the fading twilight and realized I had been walking a lot longer then I had intended. I should have checked in on Edward by now. What if Alphonso/Gilbert had gotten to him already. My mind was buzzing with horrible outcomes when a familiar smell filled my nose. Armani Black, I had always loved it on Gilbert and when Jacob had discovered a smell that shared his last name it had melted me.

"Hey Vand." Gilbert's face smiled at me. It was Gilbert's smile through and through, no teeth big beautiful lips pouting in a strangely happy and completely sexy way. That smile was infectious and made me weak in the knees and touched me in places that no hand was meant to touch, but on Alphonso's stolen face it just made me want to spit in anger. "Gil, you are in a lot of trouble." I said scrunching my nose in displeasure.

"I know, I guess everyone is pretty mad at me. I just can't stand the thought of you with him. Anyone but me." He shrugged as if he were talking about the weather. A completely Gilbert like thing to do. In that moment I had to wonder how much of Alphonso was in there and how much of my past had reprogrammed him as Gilbert. "I know it is hard, but you have to realize…." He cut me off with a growl. "No you have to realize that you and me are forever. Not you and Jacob, not you and Edward. Vander and Gilbert, our love saved us both, made us push through the pain of the transformation! Can you say you love either of them enough to make it through that?" He screamed. "I can, this is my second time around remember? I might have died for Gilbert Dunn but I lived for Jacob Black and I took a set of fangs over the harm of one head of hair of any of them." I said softly. It was the truth, I would have lived in a thousand years of agony for any of them.

Gilbert strode forward his cologne filling my nose. "You did all of that for a lie." He said trying to pull my into him. I closed my eyes and tried to find some spark of love in my body for him. The only thing I felt was a longing for Jacob to stroke my hair and tell me it would be ok. I pushed him away form me violently taking a defensive crouch. "You are the lie. Your real name is Alphonso and you can take another person's shape. They force fed you my past with Gilbert and broke you beyond repair. I am sorry that it was done to you, and I would change it if I could. But make no mistake I can and will kill you." I said almost devoid of emotion.

"Those are just more lies Vander, don't you see Edward thought this up to break us apart. Him and the others to keep you pacified. Please believe me." He pleaded trying to come to my form. For his efforts he received a blast of white hot electricity to his chest. He staggered back and hissed. "You really are going to push this aren't you?" he asked growling in his throat. "You just walk away, get the fuck as far from here as you can and I'll call it good." I replied. I hated him for having Gilbert's face, but he had been broken and remolded into my one time love, if he would walk away I would let him.

"Vander please, see reason. You and me forever." He darted to me his arms open to embrace me in a crushing bear hug. I stood feeling broken by the look on his face, it held relief. Split seconds before he closed those arms around me I raised my hand a flaming sword piercing his chest. "I still love you Vander." he gasped in my ear. I lowered the both of us to the ground gently. "Don't let them fool you…" He shuddered out. His form unable to heal my arm elbow deep in him. I closed my eyes, and for the first time without Jacob Black I cried as a vampire.

I let flames engulf both of us. They flickered harmlessly at my skin but began to consume Gilbert's doppelganger. I cried freely tears flowing down my face. It was hard knowing he was consumed with Gilbert, consumed with love for me. With his last breath he had tried to convince me of his authenticity. It was hard letting the pile of ashes float away.


	8. Truth

I sighed after the long cry and rose my body trembling. I was filthy, blood and ashes streaking my body and face. I pulled out the little black cell phone and pressed a button to call a car service. I was in no mood to try and slink back unnoticed. They grumbled about being so far out but no one says no to the type of money I threw around.. While I waited I made another call, to one of the few other numbers in this phone. Caius' human slave answering. "Tell him I took care of it." I said distant and cold then hung up.

Almost immediately the phone was buzzing in my hand. "Yes?" I answered. "Vander, you took care of our little problem?" Aro asked, from the faint hum I could tell I was on speaker phone. "With ease, messy but easy." I replied. "We are pleased, did anyone see you?" Marcus asked. "No and if they had I would have taken care of it as well. I am not sloppy." I said sharply. "Do not be so sure little one." Caius' voice smug. "Meaning, I have served with out fail since I came to Italy." My voice was angry. I had made their money, and killed for them all seemingly perfect with asking little besides what I had bargained for. "I am just saying be careful hubris before the fall my dear." Caius spoke. "Mayhaps we would all do well to remember that." I shot back and ended the call as the car pulled up to get me. I ignored the driver as his eyes took in my form. "Wrecked my car." I mumbled in Italian. He nodded and opened the door slumping in wearily.

Already the day had been to long, and I had to go back and make nice with the Volturi. Then of course was planning and plotting with Edward. Apparently I was the wicked once more and they get no rest. I spoke softly instructing the driver where to drop me off. Occasionally having my own entrance to the Volturi fortress was nice. I paid the driver a hefty tip knowing the trip was paid for already with my account.

I went directly to Edward and my rooms. I wanted no needed to change before confronting them. "Edward?" I asked stepping inside the room. I dropped my shield's and tried to search for him. He simply was not there. I called the car service to confirm his drop off. He had been dropped off nearly two hours ago. I flinched, he should have been there waiting for me. Edward always stayed in our rooms if I wasn't there, part of the slave act.

I forgot all my plans and rushed about the room. I started gathering things in case something went bad. My little cell phone as well as Edward's hidden one. My wallet with plenty of cash and my Italian ids and credit cards, sewn carefully into the liner were my real life ids and credit cards, in case of an emergency. They had taken a lot to get a hold of but had been worth the effort. I rushed from the room to go to the main meeting area. The trio stood around something all guarded by their little pets. "Felix. Demetri. Jane. Move." I commanded.

"Ah Vander so good of you to join us." Aro smiled and parted their little circle. Edward lay there in a defensive ball. "He is rather resilient, however did you break him in the first place." Marcus asked. I started to open my mouth but Aro raised his brow. "Unless, you never broke him, and you were using him as a token to make some grand plan of vengeance." He almost snickered in satisfaction. "I know not what you mean." I replied my tongue dipping with silver lies. "Come now, did you really think we would be so foolish as to trust you.? Remember you are not the only witch in the world." Caius laughed. "Your pride is your undoing, you played flawlessly into our plan. Now we have you, Edward, and Alice and Bella will come once she sees what has happened to you." Aro laughed almost gleefully.

"You have got to be five finger fucking me. You brought me here, set me up with a false imprint of my old fiancé to feed me lies. All knowing that you had a witch to manipulate Alice's visions, banking on the fact that I was not to be trusted? All to the ends of adding to your little collection of freak vampires?" I asked. "You are correct, remember hubris before the fall my dear. We will gain the strongest of the American vampires and see the decline and fall of the Cullen coven. Now if you be so kind as to join Edward on the floor." Aro spoke calmly as if I just inquired about the weather today.

I nodded and moved forward as if I were giving up that easily. Felix and Jane flanked me as if they didn't trust me. They shouldn't have, but getting close was a mistake. I took a hold of them by the hair of their heads and faster then fire could snake down my arms their heads and spinal columns hung freely in my hands as a result of a crossing of my powerful arms. "Run Edward, go!" I screamed their bodies being engulfed in flames. I crumbled the ash now in my hands and Demetri fell on me hard. "Vander!" Edward screamed. "I got this, go." I screamed letting flames ride my body and the vampire on top of me. Edward fought the frail three vampires for his freedom.

I saw Edward dart away and I raised flames to cut the three off from going after him. It wasn't much but it was the best I could give him. Alec was his only major threat, everyone else was here with me. Despite knowing his life was ending Demetri continued to struggle. Seeing the flames that rode us the ancient ones kept their distance. I rolled around with the large tracker trying to do anything to get him off of me while he burned to death.

I found my hands on his head and snapped his neck, not as effective as removal of the spine but he stopped moving. I rose to my feet, I could see my reflection in their milky eyes. Covered in even more ash and blood flame dancing along my skin. I reflected like a burning Goddess of death coming for them. "Vander see reason. Are you going to fight your way out of here. Against all of us?" Marcus asked. "Pretty sure Edward is helping as we speak, so no not all of you." I growled. "You don't have to do this, you can leave.." Aro stammered. Suddenly I realized without their little pets the best of which ash at my feet they were nothing.

"So you can pull everyone together and come after me in force? I don't think so. Not putting my life or the lives of my loved ones on the line. Not when I can nip it in the bud." I smiled. "You think they will let you be if you kill us?" Caius asked smoothly. "No one came after you guys when you annihilated the Romanians. Not to mention it isn't just good planning that saves my ass. It is the muscle to take out my enemies. So let them come, but I doubt they will. Everyone will learn that when you start something with me I will be the one to finish it." I snarled. I was close to the frail looking vampires.

They were pushed up against the wall. "Remember hubris before the fall boys. You have a lot of pride built up. Makes for a pretty big fall." I hissed. I brought my hand up and crushed Aro's face in with a sickening smash. He had abducted me, turned me, hurt Edward, and had erased some poor soul for his own amusement. I started to burn away at him letting the fire spread to the others. I let the fire burn hot and quick.

Once everyone was in the room was dead I let the fire barrier fall away. My magic feeling depleted. I had used a lot today, between my new found projection and burning six powerful vampires takes it out of a girl. I expected the room to be rushed but nothing. Most of the guards would be out doing assorted missions, she spread her consciousness out to try and find Edward but he was gone.

It was so easy. Why had I not just done it before? I smiled feeling pretty self satisfied and pulled out Edward's cell phone. All I had to do was turn it on and make a call collect Edward and be on our merry way. "Vander! What have you done?" I heard a furious voice behind me. I spun to see Alec's face burning with anger. Apparently the burning flesh had brought Alec to me.

I felt my legs lock into place and Alec's white mist creep up my body. He would strike me deaf, dumb, blind, and immobile. I tried to fight it but I couldn't move. I hissed trying to summon magic against him but I found I couldn't control what was happening.

Vander fell on the floor her body rigid and she was completely unaware of what was going on around her. Her magic started to seep out of her wild and uncontrolled. The earth shuddered below them fire spreading out from her body while electricity bounded out freely. Stones started to fall from the roof and walls raining down on the pair. Alec hissed covering his head. Vander's air magic protecting her from harm.

--

Edward had rushed to the Four Seasons Hotel where Alice and had left passport for him and Vander. Everything that they needed for a hasty retreat ready. He paused feeling the ground rumbling beneath him, he turned to the direction he had come from. Smoke rose up in the air and Edward rushed forward. His legs carrying him faster then he had ran before. 'Vander!' He screamed out with his mind trying to find hers. The smoke gathered quicker now, he heard the building collapse and he pushed himself faster. He reached the mound of rumble that used to be the home of the Volturi and found Vander's body laying in the middle of the cracked stones and scattered ash. He scooped her up her in her arms, she wasn't unconscious but Alec clearly had worked his ability over on her before she had got him, got them all.

"Vander… this is what you are capable of?" he sighed looking down at her. He started to carry her away hearing sirens starting toward them. He found an alley and set her down at her feet. A quick search he found a cell phone. He dialed the house number and Alice answered the first ring. "Edward, I am so sorry, I don't know…" Edward cut her off. "They were using magic to block you, Vander and I are both alive. She is stunned but we are alive." "I can't see her Edward…" He heard smashing on the other side of the line and Jacob roaring. "I am bringing her home, tell Jacob I am bringing her home." He paused Alice's words running through his mind. He heard Emmett start to wrestle with Jacob and hung up the phone.

He ran his hand in front of Vander's eyes and they responded. She was alive, well a vampire Alice should have been able to see her. He left it alone for the moment and called for plane tickets. All that mattered was getting her back, she would be well by the time they got back to Forks.


	9. Absent Minded

I don't know who I am. Simple as that.

They say I am Vander, that I can cope with. I have several identifications to attest to that fact. Vander Astran, Vander Cullen, Vander Black, all of these I.D.s have my picture smiling back at me. So I must be Vander, but which one is it.

My body was aware first, movements, then smells, sound, and finally sight came back to me. I had been laying on a bed when it happened. Finally I was able to put faces to the voices and smells.

--

"I have never seen Alec's effect act like this." Carlisle murmured. "Yes, but how many of his victims lived to tell the tale?" Edward offered back. "Very good point, but also we can not discount Vander's uniqueness as a possibility." Carlisle responded the sound of him writing things down filled the room. There were three people in the room: Carlisle, Edward, and Jacob. There was a hostility in the room that I could feel radiating off the last person. Jacob. I had the sudden urge to blink, I hadn't really been blinking before. I would be able to move when they moved me, but never blinking.

Suddenly I could see every detail of the room around me. I tried to keep the movements of my eyes slow while not moving my head at all. "Vander?" Edward's head snapped so fast in my direction that I felt a gust of air movement that carried his smell to my nose like a little Edward assault. He made a low chuckle Then it was Jacob's turn for a fast movement. "You think this is funny? What if she is gone forever? Just lays there and never smiles again, never picks Hailey up!" I heard them scuffling before, this time it was much more boisterous. The door came open and Jasper and Emmett came in, they weren't much use for talking about what had happened to me but they were great at breaking up the fights.

A strange calmness washed over my body, it was if everything was perfect, like reading on the beach, waves lapping at your toes. "No, Jake she is…" Edward started to speak but something cut him off. I heard one of the bigger men fumble around so I was betting Jacob had cut him off. "She is what?" I asked sitting up.

I had sort of been so calm that I forgot to pretend I was still not completely alert now. Every single eye in the room was trained on me. "That is what I was trying to tell you." I studied the faces trying to commit them to memory, I could feel a wrenching in my gut. Not because each of the men before me were ungodly handsome but because I could feel they were important to me. I felt love for them all, I just didn't know who they were. "Oh Vander…" Edward spoke his voice sad and soft, but somehow clear to my ears. "What, what is it?" Carlisle asked his pen poised above a legal pad.

"Vander?" I had heard them tossing the name around but like Hailey she had never come to see me. "She doesn't remember, anything. She knows what things are like pen and paper but not us." Edward spoke slowly. Jacob started to growl. "Oh, then I am Vander then?" I asked. Jacob's face was torn. For me sadness, for Edward hatred. I wondered if he was the handsome man that loved me. Sure they all loved me, in some way, but there was a sharp pull in my body for one. I had known one of those men's flesh dance with my own in many passionate embraces, but which one was it?

"Yeah, Jacob." Edward nodded. I nodded and looked down biting my lip. "What is it?" Jacob asked. "She realizes that we all love her and that she loves us. That her husband is here, she just wasn't sure which one of us she lusted after." Edward spoke his voice sounding robotic. Emmett laughed and Jacob growled. There was a sickening pop and crack and before my eyes Jacob started to transform, a muzzle sprouted from his face.

That was all it took, my body as if acting on it's own accord was up and to the window in seconds. I was out of it and running. My feet pulling me, thankfully they knew the way because I sure the hell didn't. A howl sounded and then was repeated by other's that was all the motivation I needed to kick it into true high gear.

I found myself by a small stream bent at it. My throat was burning with thirst. I could feel the water sloshing inside of me but still I drank not satisfied. "That won't fix it you know." A twinkling voice that matched the name Alice told me. I spun around quickly in a crouch. "Easy Vand, I knew you would be here. " She smiled softly. That name again Vand, short for Vander. "You need blood." she said softly. "How would you know?" I snapped. "You are a vampire, we need blood." she shrugged. "We, so you expect me to believe that we are all some merry band of blood suckers?" I asked sarcastically. "Not all of us, only half. The rest are werewolves." She replied as if were the most natural thing. "Sure I am a vampire." I felt a tingle wash over my body like a million static socks. "Well a witch too." She nodded. "Those things aren't real." I replied. "Then how come your are dancing with electricity?" She asked.

--

The memory replayed in my head as I looked around me. Probably because it was the only one I had. I scanned the I.D.s again., they looked real. I turned to the marriage license, in black and white there it was, Jacob Black and Vander Cullen. I was married to a werewolf, and I was a vampire and a witch. I bit my lip and made a face. It was a tough pill to swallow, I could take the supernatural stuff, I had seen that with my eyes. Even the fact that I belonged with these people, I was drawn to them.

My fingers hovered over the stacked photo albums. I knew that when I opened them, I wouldn't remember the things they wanted me too. I let my fingers brush the top of the albums over to skip to books that were mine apparently. I clenched my fist. No I needed to look not be a chicken.

I pulled the topmost album into my lap and opened it. I sat there in a booth drinking martinis, Alice, Rosalie, and Bella where there and we were all smiling and dressed in the same white mini dress and heels. There we were again this time our nails painted lounging on the big bed that I now sat. I touched my face in the picture willing myself to remember the night. "Come on, just remember." I growled in frustration.

I stood up and went over to the window and hugged my arms to my body. There was a little girl playing in the yard with Jacob and Embry, I was pretty sure it was Embry. "Bry! Swing me higher!" the girl giggled. I smelled Edward and Jasper enter the room but didn't turn. "Cute kid." I nodded out to the scene. "Yeah, Hailey is pretty adorable." Jasper said placing a hand on my shoulder. "Hailey…" I asked looking down. Tidbits of a conversation filtered to my mind. "Hailey shouldn't see her like this…" "What if Hailey could help her…" I studied her and touched my nose lightly. Was that cute little girl my daughter?

"She is." Edward nodded coming beside Jasper. It took me a while to realize he was answering my thoughts. "With… Jacob Black?" I asked slowly looking at them. "Well he is your husband." Edward nodded. I made a face and studied her harder, she did look like him but she also could have easily been Embry's daughter. I closed my eyes a flash of horror overwhelmed me. Had I cheated on my husband? "Jake has always been the one for you." Edward replied. "Oh you are forgetting your little Italy trip together?" Jasper chuckled. I looked at Edward and raised my brow. Sure he was attractive, but a little on the scrawny side, like I could break him with my love making. If it got that far, the feeling in my stomach for him didn't scream lover. I didn't understand how I could have felt that certain twist of gut over him even in the room. Jasper and Emmett were more close to my ideal body type but even them I couldn't picture rolling around naked with. I could picture Jacob and I, now if only I could remember it.

"Oh wow thanks for that Vander." Edward laughed. "Sorry…" I turned from the window and tried not to look at either of them. "Awkward turtle." Jasper laughed. "You have no idea." Edward shook his head. "Well Edward share with the class." Jasper chuckled. "No, you wouldn't." I said shocked. "Wow you really don't remember how we work do you?" Jasper laughed. "Oh I think payback is in order. Apparently, I am to frail for her. She would break me." Edward laughed. "Oh kinky, Vander. Poor little Eddie not good enough." he taunted. "You didn't set off her freak flag either Jazz." Edward said laugher racking his body.

I had to be close to these people, or it wouldn't be this natural with them. "Oh man this is just like that one time… you know the one I can't remember." I laughed. Jasper started howling with laugher, it was echoed by Emmett somewhere in the house. "Riiight, that was just wrong." Edward shook his head. "No that, was purely Vander right there. Classic." Japer laughed. "Well I guess that is good news." I shrugged. "Not really, I was hoping you would come back a bit more refined." Edward said stiffly. It took me a few seconds to guess he was joking. "Well then stay out of my head freak." I shot at him. "Said the vampire." Jasper laughed. "To the other vampires." I added collapsing in giggles. "You guys are like a broken record." Edward shook his head. "Because Vander can't record anything?" Emmett asked leaning against the door frame of the room we were in. Jasper and I started rolling on the floor laughing.

"Hopeless." Edward shook his head. "So Vander babe you ready for bed, you were gone a long time and I want a shot at you before that mutt of a husband finds out about us." Emmett said seriously. I stopped and looked at him before laughing again. "As if big boy, you know what you and Jasper kiss and we will talk." I managed to get out. "You know this is just like that one time you can't remember." Emmett shot back. I stopped and looked up at him. "That wasn't funny." I shook my head. "But you.. You.. You just…." He stammered. Jasper and I started laughing together, even Edward chuckled. "Oh that is it! You are in trouble now." Emmett gave a fake battle cry, licked his hand and slapped his elbow then dived on to us.

Edward pressed himself against the wall as Jasper, Emmett, and I rolled around wrestling. The second before a voice cleared itself I smelled the forest rich smell of Jacob. I stopped and sat bolt upright despite being in a headlock. "Sorry Jake." Emmett mumbled and let my head go. I looked around uneasy and pushed myself to my feet. I was unsure on wither I wanted them to clear out or not leave me alone with my husband. "Guys, lets uh go grab some food." Edward stumbled over his words. I could feel the tension between Edward and Jacob. 'He blames me for not bringing you back right away, for leaving when you told me to.' Edward nodded at me. Jacob growled and Jasper and Emmett stood leaving the room headed by Edward.

"So Jacob Black…" I said sitting on the bed. "Yeah…" He moved to the bed and touched the marriage license gently. I closed my eyes and could feel my brows knitting together. "I know this must be hard… on you and Hailey" I said the name slowly because the idea of a daughter was surreal to me. "It you want, want to divorce… I'd understand…" I was trying to be kind but the words were hard to say. Jacob's arms wrapped around my body and pulled me into his lap. "I could never want that. We are Imprinted." he whispered. "Imprinted?" I asked opening an eye to look at him.

"Yeah, You see for a wolf we have the ability to instantly recognize the person that we were made to fit with. For me, it is you." He kissed my hair. "Like soul mates?" I asked. "Sort of, yeah. It means that no matter what I will be here for. Like Embry is for Hailey." I could fill disgust filing my face. "Well right now he is like her favorite uncle or best friend. When she gets old enough it will change to be something more. He doesn't have those sorts of feelings for her." I felt relieved. "So when I was little, before I was a vampire… you and me.." I was unsure how to phrase the question. His face was mottled with pain or anger. "No…" "Oh, I am sorry Jacob. If I could…" he shook his head. "No, it's ok. This is some metaphysical crap, you can't help it."

I smiled and had the urge to kiss him. He had to be the most understanding person in the world. "I never told you…" He said softly. "Told me what?" I asked. "How it was that first time. Do you want to hear?" he asked. "I would like that." I nodded. As if I weighed nothing he adjusted to be more comfortable while keeping me in his lap.

"Well Carlisle called us. He said there was a witch that had come to town and she had to speak with us. He warned us that you were also a vampire. He tried to explain that you might try to kill us if we refused. So we agreed to meet with you at midnight. Sam and me. We picked a neutral place where if it came to it we could fight." "So I attacked you?" I asked. Even though I couldn't remember him I couldn't picture trying to hurt him. "No, we went to the clearing really early, apparently you guys had the same idea. About eleven I smelled this rain smell. Not really like the rain we get here but something different and pure. I couldn't even smell Jasper or Emmett. Then it was like I couldn't breath the second you stepped into the clearing with them. I just couldn't and everything disappeared. There was only you. You were so elegant, everything about you perfect. You mouth, eyes, nose, hair. I knew I loved it all. Sam had to order me to pay attention to what was going on. You asked if I was always like that and your voice was music. Then you asked if I was ok. I knew you were kind. When we shook hands I just held your hand. I wanted to kiss it so bad Vander. It was so delicate, but I knew there was power there." He brought my hand to his lips and kissed each finger tip. "When I heard you were joining the Cullen family I was angry. Like they were trying to take you away. Then you pointed out that you would be sticking around. I was so relieved. I would have followed you anywhere. But I didn't have to."

I started to pull away from him guilt riding my body. He flexed his body and held me in place with some effort. "Vander what's wrong?" He asked trying to look into my eyes. "I am sorry… I don't remember." He gave me a squeeze and nuzzled into my hair. "Close your eyes." He instructed. I gave him a look but he covered my eyes with his massive hand. "I said before you can't help this. I don't blame you…" "You blam.." He cut me off with his finger pressed to my lips. I nodded. "You look at me and can't remember me, so don't use your eyes Vand." I nodded again. "Use your heart, what does it tell you?" he asked. I shuddered and knew the answer instantly. I love him. I loved Jacob Black, werewolf. "That I love you." I whispered and kissed his finger pressed against my lips. "Then that is all that matters." He said softly. He pressed his lips to mine quickly.

I kissed him passionately letting my hand snake up his shirt. I traced the lines of his muscled stomach and wondered what my tongue would feel like running along those same planes. Jacob moaned into the kiss and I could feel him growing hard against my leg. He pulled away from me and moved me off of his lap his breathing ragged and uneven. "I need to go." He said breathlessly. "Why Jake?" I asked looking up at him. "Oh come on Vand, don't look at me with those sad eyes." He bit his lip and shook his head. "I hate to break the streak." He chuckled. "What streak?" I asked shaking my head. "You and I, we have never made love here." he shrugged. I giggled. "I guess you should go before Jasper bangs on the wall claiming he will get sick."

"What did you just say?" Jacob asked looking at me. "Uhh.." I fumbled trying to remember something important. "About Jasper, what did you say about Jasper?" he asked quickly. "Oh, that he would bang on the…" I stopped as he tugged his shirt off. "What are you doing?" I asked. Clearly the thought of being physical had gotten to him just minutes before. "Getting naked." he replied. "Why?" I asked. "That was a memory, when you still lived here Jasper would bang on the wall and say he was going to get sick anytime we fooled around. From one little kiss, so if we make love it might all come back." He stood now completely naked.

He looked more amazing then I had pictured him. He flexed his muscled frame and took a step towards me. "I don't think this is the solution…" I shook my head scrambling up. "Why not, I can smell that you are attracted to me." I knew that I loved him, I knew I wanted to writhe under him, but I also wanted to remember him before that happened. Where were Edward, Jasper and Emmett when you needed them?

"I am, you are.. You are wow." I felt my body shudder and want to go to him. "You know you aren't to bad yourself." he chuckled closing the space between us and slipped the strap of my tank top down my shoulder. I jumped and scrambled over the bed putting it between us. "Oh you want me to chase you huh? You know I love that." I gulped and scurried away as he cleared the bed.

It was stupid, you shouldn't run from a predator. It excites them. He continued to chase me as I ran around. Luckily I was fast. I could feel a tingle running up my skin and the air started to feel heavy as if lightning was about to strike.

The door busted open and Edward, Jasper, and Emmett burst into the room as if I had summoned them with my earlier thought. Jacob growled and the three others looked away. "Get out." Jacob spoke his voice rumbling and commanding. "WE aren't your pack, and THIS is not your house." Edward warned. Jasper came to me and hesitated to touch me. I realized my body was charged with electric current. "Can't you tell she is scared?" Jasper asked looking at Jacob then quickly at me. "I am her husband she doesn't have to be afraid of me." he shot back. "Well she is, can't you tell your ass is about to get fried?" Jasper asked careful not to look at a very nude Jacob.

I sort of wished they would stop talking as if I weren't there. "OK look, Vander why don't you just tell him for yourself." Edward sighed. Jacob looked at me his deep brown eyes searching my face. "Jacob… I am very attracted to you. But I really don't remember you… I want I want to wait. Please until there is something more then just a feeling in my gut." I asked softly. He nodded and swallowed hard. "Hug me at least?" he asked. I nodded and opened my arms. He made no move to come to me and I raised my brow. "You are sort of electrified." he motioned. Right, I had forgotten that, the magic that danced there was natural like a part of who I was. "I don't know how to pull it in." I admitted. When Alice had found me I had to shoot it off because I couldn't reign it in.

"Well then I will take my chances." He grinned and swept me into his arms. I closed my arms and just concentrated on not hurting him. "There is my girl." he spoke softly in my ear. No shock, I had done it or he was hiding the pain very well. "I will come check on you tomorrow. I have some thing planned." His eyes sparkled at me. I reluctantly let him go. "You aren't going to try and take her home?" Emmett asked flexing his strong arms. "No, this is her home too, and I don't think I could be in bed with her and not want my wife back." he said simply. Edward nodded his face pained.

Jacob growled. "You have no idea Edward. You left her alone with them. Don't nod at me like you know what it is like to loose your wife." "I was away from Bella for months!" he roared. I couldn't remember Edward but I knew it was unlike him. "They didn't torture her! They didn't steal her life in front of your eyes. They didn't try and make her hate you. And you did not come home to Bella not knowing who you are." Jacob said lowly, his voice dangerous. "This is no one's fault please Jake. Please, just let it go." I pleaded putting my hand on his taunt chest. "Ok Vand… ok." He said his jaw clenched. I stood up and kissed his cheek. "And put on some clothes? I don't like everyone seeing it. Shouldn't that be for my eyes only?" I joked. "Mine's bigger." Emmett laughed. "I doubt it, besides. You got to know how to use it." Jacob laughed.

The tension in my body eased as Jacob started to dress. "See you tomorrow?" I asked biting my lower lip. "Without a doubt." he nodded. "I promise." He kissed my mouth passionately and was gone before I had a chance to respond. "Hailey come on we are going home!" He called out. A small musical voice tried to protest as it was taken outside.

I felt sadness overwhelm me, so deep that Jasper could not wash it away. I threw myself on the bed and opened a thick bound book that sent magic dancing up my arm. Hand written, my hand writing staring up at me. I had to remember them, remember me, remember it all.


	10. Good One

Hours of my delicate spidery handwriting looking up at me and I got nothing. Well, that is sort of the half truth of it. I learned a lot of things, like how to control my lightning or that it wasn't the only element at my control. I could summon weather on command, I could heal, and the potions. There seemed to be no limit on the magic that these books held. The problem was that I had wrote them in a language I no longer knew how to read. It was still English, but that didn't mean I knew what windershins was. I sighed and closed the book. Maybe there was an "Everybody Poops" only for magic I could pick up.

"No dude don't… Just let it brew. They we can play." Emmett's voice carried despite being quieted. "Why, she is really upset." Jasper argued back. "Well I am not sure you calming her all the time is really helping things Jazz." Alice said softly. "Exactly, so just let it brew, we will take her out to play, and she could cheer up the old fashioned way." Emmett spoke. "Well it could be very conducive to her recovery to do something that familiar." Carlisle spoke for the first time. Great I was the talk to the house. "She can hear us you know." Edward said smugly. I had to remember that Edward could do that. In all my drama I just kept forgetting.

I came from the bed and opened the door and went down the stairs. "I don't think I am up for potions, I can't brew anything." I said apologetically. "Oh no, we are fine on potions. Hailey is taking care of that. You taught her well. Not as strong as yours but they are effective. We were speaking of the storm." Carlisle smiled at me. "Storm?" I asked my brow raised. "Yes. Your control is no longer what is was. It seems your mood left unchecked has brought a storm to us." Esme smiled. Great, my little depression was about to rain all over us.

"No Vander , it is a good thing. It means we can play baseball. The thunder booms will sound the same as our bat." Edward smiled. "So…" I didn't know where this was going. "It means we are going to have a family game night. Honestly you have purposely done this a million. Nothing to worry about." Rosalie smiled at me. Bella rubbed my back in small comforting circles. Edward looked worried and I raised my brow. "Don't Edward." Bella said sharply. "Don't what?" I asked.

"She should know." He shrugged. "Well not now she shouldn't." Esme shook her head. "No, she needs to be motivated to get her control back. I was there, you guys only saw the pictures." he defended. "Later Edward." Carlisle said in a soft but commanding way. Whatever they knew it was clear they didn't want me to know. We filed out of the house and I noticed that as we ran they were careful to put someone between Edward and me.

Suddenly everyone stopped running including me, as if my feet knew this place. I felt my face break into a grin, as if it knew I had lots of good memories in this place. "Ok boys versus girls!" Alice giggled. "I'll keep score." Esme offered. Rain started to pour but it didn't matter, I took the pitcher's mound and threw the ball at Emmett. He connected with a deafening crack and sent the ball soaring. Alice ran and we could all easily see she had caught the ball. "Out!" Esme called loudly. I grinned and Bella bumped her hip against my own in victory. "Oh it's a little too soon to celebrate!" Jasper laughed.

Vampires playing baseball makes the nine innings go a lot faster. "Oh yeah, Vand you still got that arm." Rosalie grinned at me after we won. "You guys cheated." Emmett growled. "How did we cheat?" Alice asked. "You knew you would win if Vander pitched for you guys. She throws harder then Edward or Carlisle can." Jasper accused. "I was totally pulling my pitches." I defended. "Like hell you did, you like to win to much." Emmett grinned.

I launched myself at him pulling him into a head lock. He swept me off my feet and we started rolling around in the mud. "Oh no way I am missing this." Jasper yelled and pounced on us. "Look at the three of them, they don't miss a beat do they?" Alice laughed. "I know and she is ruining her clothes." Rosalie commented. "Oh they are already wet so what?" Bella asked pushing the girls into our fray.

Soon Esme was holding Carlisle while we all rolled around in the mud fighting. It was like one big puppy pile gone wild. Alice sat up displacing me and my head lock on Jasper while Emmett grabbed my feet. Edward came to my defense Bella at his side both jumping on our large brother. Rosalie gave a high playful battle hiss and yanked Edward off of Emmett. Bella started to fight Rosalie and I stopped squirming. I realized looking around I was an awkward wheel. Esme and Carlisle, Edward and Bella, Jasper and Alice, Rosalie and Emmett, and then there was Vander and no one. I felt suddenly more then awkward, alone. I rose from the tangled limbs and started to run. "Vander?" Esme called. I didn't pause just kept running.

I couldn't be more alone even if I had stayed. I was tired, not physically, but mentally tired. Who was I? What could I do with my powers? How did I fit in here? There were to many questions and I couldn't find the answers. I felt my feet slow and then halt. Something on the rain. Wet dog smell that wasn't entirely bad. A huge russet wolf the size of a pony came to my side. I knew it was Jacob. I just knew beyond a doubt. I tossed my arms around his giant neck and pressed my face into his wet fur. "I would do anything to be her again." I said meekly.

I felt his form ripple under my arm and fought not to let go. He brushed my hair out of eyes and swept the mud from my cheeks. "Vander Black stop it. You are still my wife." He kissed my muddy hair. "Even if you never remember what we had, I can give you new memories." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath smelling his rich cedar intensive smell. "How can you be so kind and patient?" I asked. "Remember when you said your heart knows it loves me? We are meant to be together. You don't know this but we fit together Vander. We fit into one piece." He sighed his body shuddering as it held me close. I couldn't ignore him hard against my leg.

As if sensing my thoughts he moved away. I stopped him and shook my head. "No, it's alright… Show me how we fit together. Please?" I asked kissing his neck softly. He shuddered again and looked at me. "Are you sure?" he asked. I heard a howl that was not so far away and made a face. "They aren't going to watch are they?" I asked. "No they are leaving right now." he growled his fingers going to the fly of my jeans.

Jacob laid me down the water running off of his back as if he were a protective shield custom built for my body. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I had been here before, there was a little girl with my nose and his eyes as proof of that. I tried willing myself to remember being here before. I closed my eyes almost ashamed that I couldn't make my brain work. "Vander…" Jacob spoke my name softly like it was a prayer. Maybe it was.

He kissed my mouth softly pulling softly at my lower lip begging to be allowed into my mouth. I parted my lips and the second my tongue met his the kiss exploded. Lips, tongues, teeth it was if I could consume him wholly with my mouth and he would have let me do it. He navigated my mouth like his favorite cave knowing the ins and outs, and the pitfalls that were my fangs.

His blazing hands caressed my body as if he knew every millimeter of my pale flesh. Touches here and there that brought small gasps of pleasure from my body into his mouth. He knew where to touch me that would make me writhe without hitting any overtly sexual spots. As if he were saying I know your body, it is my body, I live here in your flesh. I ran my hands up his side my ice leaving streaks in his fire that made his body more heavy with lust pressing us into the mud.

I felt my body suddenly released of my sopping clothes and it took me a second to realize he had been doing all of that to my still encased form. This man knew my form in a way I couldn't have grasped before. His blazing hand found my small opening and my eyes flew open with the sensation. "Are you sure?" He asked again working his fingers around me. He was playing dirty, and the grin he was trying to hide said he knew it.

It was my turn to pray to the Goddess by invoking his name. All the encouragement he needed and he slowly lowered himself into me. When he was sheathed inside me completely he paused and held my face in his hands. "You were right, we fit together like one solid piece." I found self breathless and wanting to breath in his scent, let myself drown in it.

The fierceness of our kiss was deceiving and Jacob was gentle working in and out of me. My body knew, it remembered that it could be different, but this was what it screamed for. His face was gentle as our bodies found a rhythm that echoed each other. After a while my body began to wind itself up in a tight coil and his stroke became uneven and I knew it would soon be over. It was glorious my body bowing up into his. My slender form fitting up into his in a bow that made his body a glove to mine. He rolled off of me and grabbed my hand.

I knew he wanted that to have fixed me. I knew I wanted that to have fixed me, Goddess and Consort did I want that to fix me. But I was still blank. I shook my head and bit my lip looking away from him. He pulled me through the mud to him. "It's ok, it's alright Vander. I was hoping.. But it doesn't matter. If you never remember this will still have been right." Jacob said softly. "I know Jacob. Great Mother do I know. I have never felt anything like that, well that I can remember." I joked. His face was dark and I knew it was not ok to joke about this with him. "I am sorry Jake. I really am. I just I felt ashamed before, but this was natural. This was us. We do fit together, I am your paw's print." I pressed my palm into his and took in a large nose full of his smell.

"Come home tonight Vander, please…" Jacob said softly into my hair. I knew he wanted that, I even wanted that, but it wasn't right. It wasn't fair. "Our bed isn't the same, since I was 18 you have been in my bed. I toss and turn. It kills me to know your are here and not have you in bed, to not watch you sleep." Jacob's body started to shake as if he would cry. "When have you ever seen me sleep, I am a vampire…" I shook my head. So far I had not slept and it had been days of trying to force myself to sleep, to remember. "You were human with me, for years." He replied. "You said I was a vampire when you met me." I tried to pull away, now his story was not making sense. "You were, but someone… someone turned you human." He made a face as if the memory pained him.

"How?" I asked. If I could be human, if I could be just a normal woman it might makes things easier. "Your witch blood, makes you not crave human blood. A life, they stole a life from someone to give you back yours." He said sadly. I knew that I could not do it. I could not rob another of their life. "I was forced?" I asked. "They stole a witches life and force fed you the blood while they had stripped your powers and magically held you. Unable to fight back, they force fed a life into you." He nodded. "So I will never be a human again." I swallowed physically as if I was taking the hard truth down with the reflex. "You could be, but you never would Vander. I know your soul and you could never do that." He said knowing the dark truth that lay in my heart.

"Well, then how would you watch me sleep?" I asked trying to change the subject. Anything to not think about stealing another's life. "Well your are one of a kind… you just flat out refuse to die. The venom should be poison to you, but I guess your magic is so strong to match that will of yours. But still you are one of a kind. When I hold you Vander, your able to do things that vampires can't, like sleep and cry." He nodded grinning. "I guess that makes us one of a kind. Huh?" I smiled softly. "It sure does. So…" I knew he wanted to ask me to come home again.

"I can't not now." I shook my head. "Because of what you did in Volterra?" he asked. "I don't know what I did to Volterra." I said simply. "Then why?" he asked. I knew he wanted to know, but I also knew he wanted to not tell me about Volterra. "I need some time to try and remember. Then if I can't then we can try it. It isn't fair to Hailey…" I said the name slowly, still a little strange to me. "Ok, a month and then after that you come home if you still can't remember." He said sternly. "Why a month?" I asked. "Well that gives you plenty of time to get what you need to get in order. Also, gives me a whole thirty days to make new memories of us that you can be comfortable coming home to me with." He grinned at me goofily.

"I love you Jacob Black you know that? I don't know you, but I know that." I smiled burying my face into the crook of his neck. "I know and I love you Vander… Cullen." He said sadly giving me back one of my maiden names. "No, I am still Vander Black. I got an awful fancy paper that says that. Memory or no, you showed me that your body is my body and that my body is your body. We are one whole piece, even if I am a little worse for the wear."

A howl from far off ruined our perfect moment. "A warning shot?" I asked. Jacob grinned. "Yeah, pretty considerate of them huh?" he asked. "Well I guess so, now if only someone hadn't shredded my clothes I would be A-ok." I laughed. "Sorry about that." he chuckled. I pressed my mouth to his and shook my head. "Never be sorry for what we just did, I'm not." I winked and pulled away reluctantly. My body was covered head to toe in mud save my face. "Bye Jake." "Bye Vand." he got up and jogged into the tree line. I heard him shifting and then he rang out a howl.

I started to run. I felt my feet carrying me back to the Cullen house. I paused outside it and listened and smelled. They were back, and I was filthy, and naked. I opted for the tree that was outside my window. I slipped in and grinned at the bed covered in memorabilia. Even if it had been there it wouldn't have been as perfect as it had been in the clearing. "Really Vand? That is what you have to think about?" Edward called from downstairs. "Well stay out of my head!" I laughed. I skipped into the bathroom and turned the water on.

I showered off slowly not wanting to wash Jacob off of me. I was wishing that I could loose the mud and keep the husband. I got out satisfied with my cleanliness. I dressed in a silken men's shirt so large it had to be Jacob's. I cleared the bed carefully and laid down replaying ever instant in my mind. Ever touch, every look, ever syllable given it's proper care to recall. I could hear Edward's protest and the chuckles of the others.

I paused remembering the conversation after. "Because of what you did in Volterra." He didn't want to tell me, the Cullen's keeping something from me. I pulled my laptop up from the floor and turned it on. I heard the Cullen's race up the stairs and I knew I needed to be alone. The air grew thin around me like it had been forced else where. "Vander open the door!" Edward called out. "You don't need to see this." Esme said softly.

It was to late. I had Googled, the headlines were enough to switch to picture search. A town lay in ruin. The building at the epicenter was the worse off but the whole down was in ruin. I threw the door open my body dancing with electricity on purpose now. "Did I do this?" I asked showing them the screen. The computer in my hand exploded and I threw it away. "Van-" Edward began. "NO!" I screamed. "DID. I. DO. THAT?" My face was twisted in anger. No one spoke but their faces held the answer. I had leveled that town in Italy. "I did didn't I? How many did I kill?" I asked. "Please Vander calm down." Esme pleaded. "How many?" I screamed.

"They don't know yet, they are still pulling bodies out." Alice said softly. "How?" I asked my legs collapsing beneath me. Emmett and Jasper rushed to catch me. Jasper tried to calm me but I shot him a dangerous look and he stopped. "There was a battle, and you were struck senseless. Your magic as close as I can guess continued to fight." Carlisle said slowly. "Who was I battling?" I asked. "The vampire royalty the Volturi." Alice explained. "Why?" I looked down ashamed of myself. "Well, they came after you, at your birthday party. They took you from us and turned you back." Rosalie spoke. "Why didn't you fight for me?" I asked sharply tossing a look at Emmett. I was playing on his emotions and I knew it.

"Hailey threw herself out the window, trying to save you. A witch they had brought was cutting off your air. You were dying. You threw up an air barrier we couldn't break and then you were gone." Carlisle said matter of fact as if to end my little game. "So I woke up a vampire and killed them?" I asked. Edward shook his head. "We tried to get you every night for several weeks, they denied having you and there was nothing we could do." Alice sighed.

"So… I got pissed off and killed them?" I asked trying to find the part were I killed countess. "No they tried convincing you with Gilbert that we and the wolves had brainwashed you." Edward said softly. None of this was ringing a bell but what else was new? "Who?" I asked. "Another story for another night." Esme shook her head as if it was to painful to speak of. "Well you knew something was wrong with him. You also knew as long as you and Hailey lived they would never leave you alone. You decided they had to die." Carlisle said softly. "So I started killing?" I asked. "Not exactly. You convinced them you would work for them, as long as you were furnished with a Cullen mate that could share your life style. They agreed and you met with Edward and me." Alice explained. "Then you pretended to torture me by hurting yourself while they listened and I begged. Then you and I plotted to take them down while we ran their business and spent their money pretending to be lovers." Edward explained. "So-" "Just listen to the freaking story jezze." Emmett growled. "Ok, ok." I shrugged. "So, we got a call saying Gilbert was really a shape shifter vampire that really thought he was Gilbert. You went after him and a witch that they had around to block Alice's visions and spy on us warned them he would revel them. They started to torture me when I got there. You fought their guards and killed them and told me to flee. I made it out, no one was concerned with me and they were spread to thin." He paused and shook his head. "I went to the hotel where Alice left some stuff for us. I felt the ground shake, and the town began to crumble around me. I ran back to find you protected but everything leveled." He sighed. "I brought you home, and you were senseless and couldn't move." "Then I woke up and this all began?" I asked. Esme nodded.

"So, that is why I need my control back. Because left unchecked it toppled an stone city. I would be a disaster here where buildings are less sturdy, people more abundant." I said slowly. "Well, I believe your body is a natural buffer for your magic. You didn't want to shock Jacob before and you didn't. You didn't want us in, and we couldn't get in." Carlisle spoke his voice smooth and even. "So you let me stay, because my magic isn't wild if I I am cognizant?" I asked. "We let you stay because Jake wouldn't have it any other way." Jasper said softly.

"Meaning?" I asked looking at him. "Jake is the genetic leader of the pack. He defers to Sam because of preference." Rosalie explained. "Which means?" I asked. "It means that he threatened to take his claim and start war over you, if we tried to send you away. The others weren't exactly objecting to the idea." Edward said bitterly. "They all blame you for how I am. That I am like this." I didn't form it as a question. It was a statement punctuated by his nod. "So to avoid war you kept me around." again a statement. I fought the larger men I had thought of as brothers. To them I was a burden, a way to escape a war. "Stop it Vander. You aren't a burden to us." Edward snapped.

Esme bent down and cradled my face. "We love you. It was all we could do to not storm Italy ourselves for you." "Yeah, we were all hot for it." Emmett flexed his arms around me. "Alice assured us you had it under control." Jasper said softly looking to his mate.

I made a face and then started laughing. I had to laugh, there was nothing else I could do. As far as I could tell this witch thing was a bid deal, and my best weapon. Yet I had left anyone else's magic not factor into my little master plan. I had not covered my bases. I was so prideful it had ruined me.

"Is she ok?" Bella asked looking down at me. I nodded still giggling. "Edward care to elaborate?" Carlisle asked. For some reason his all business nature made the situation even more funny, I started to laugh harder. "Well, Vander is under the impression that if she would have factor the use of a witch against us. It would have been different. Her biggest advantage used against her." he shrugged as if failing to see the hilarity of it all. "So Vander is crazy now is what your telling us?" Bella asked taking a step away.

I shook my head trying to reign in my laughter. "No, sometimes Bella a person can only take so much sadness." Jasper said grinning his body shuddering from holding in his laughter. Apparently empaths picked up on these sorts of things. "So you have to laugh it off." he finished. I nodded, I had enough sadness for all the life times I would live, I just needed to laugh.

"Well it, is good that you are laughing again." Esme smiled at me. Eventually my giggles dissipated. "Oh it's just because Jake put a little hitch in our girl's giddy up." Emmett laughed. I looked at him my face trained in a dangerous look. "That. Is. Private." I said slowly and lowly. "Oh you are joking with me again?" I totally was but I shook my head. Edward shook his head as if warning Emmett. He made a face and rubbed the back of his neck. "Vander, I am sorry. Your right that is between…" I lost the rest of his words breaking up in giggles again. "That is just wrong." he said flatly. Now the room was filled with laughter.

"No, stop. I am tired of being the butt of miss I can't remember joke's." He said hotly. I stopped and looked at him. "Aw Em, I am sorry. I just-" "HA I got you this time!" He jumped up and pointed at me. "Ok so Vander a million and Em one?" I laughed. His face fell but then perked up. "It was a good one." he defended. I laughed again. "Yeah it was." Jasper admitted. Suddenly I didn't feel so bad. I might not have remembered anything that happened to me before regaining my senses, but at least I was with people that loved and knew me.


	11. Potty Training

Carlisle and Esme had left us shortly after dawn. Everyone else stayed to play Scrabble except Alice. Apparently she cheats, but she stayed to rule on our words. I heard voices down stairs downstairs a couple hours after day break and my heart if it could it would have wrenched. I stood and Edward grabbed my arm. "Vander don't." he shook his head.

I shrugged him off and slipped from the room and down the stairs. "Ok Hailey today we are going to do some algebra." Esme said shuffling papers. "No." A small voice said, she smelled like a delicate mix of cedar and linen, like Jacob and I had had a baby. Oh wait we had. "Why not, you love math." Esme asked. I crouched on the stairs glancing back as Edward copied my move after following me. "You know why. I want to see her." The voice challenged. "Her who dearest?" Esme asked. I could almost see her face in a smile trying hard to not be sad.

"Mommy, I can smell her Grandma." Hailey challenged again. "Hailey, I do not think it wise." Esme said. "Why not, Daddy saw her yesterday, twice!" Hailey yelled. I stood and crept down the stairs. "Vander…" Edward said. I shot him a look. He could try and stop me from going down the stairs. He would just get thrown down them before I walked down them was all he would accomplish. He held up his hands in peace.

I cleared the stairs and raised an eye brow. There in front of me clear as day was my little daughter. She was purely the best of Jacob and the ok parts of me. "Mommy!" She cried and leapt from her chair the papers Esme had set in front of her flying. I bent down and scooped her up with ease. She giggled and buried her face in my hair. "I missed you." She started to sob.

I shuddered my body torn. I wanted so bad to have any memory of this girl that it was crippling me from comforting her. "I don't care Mommy, that you're a vampire. I love you." She sobbed harder now. I looked over her at Esme. "Help me" I mouthed. "Ok Hailey, your mom is not feeling well you should let her go back upstairs." Esme said softly. Hailey shook her head. "No, she is a vampire what could be wrong with her. I know she is special and doesn't want my blood." Hailey argued. Apparently she was a saucy thing, I wonder who she had got that from.

"Well, she is special, and just Hailey…" Esme sighed. I took a deep breath smelling the little girl that was my daughter and shook my head. "Hails, lets go out for a walk ok?" I asked. "Ok and when we get back will you teach me some more magic? I miss it." She smiled up at me wiping the tears from her eyes with a small fist. I shook my head and set her down. "Why?" She asked. "I will explain it all just please?" I asked. "Ok Mommy." she nodded and placed her hand in mine.

Once we were a good distance from the house I sighed and closed my eyes my hand swinging hers ever so gently. "You see something happened to my when I was taken to Italy. I was attacked, and it reacted bad with my magic." I opened my eyes and looked down at her. "Is that why you aren't at home with us? You are in your room at Grandma and Grandpa's?" she asked. "It is." I replied, I didn't want to tell her, I just didn't. "Can I catch it because I am magical too? Is that why you won't show me more magic?" she asked.

I sighed and shook my head. "Then why?" she asked looking at me. Oh yeah she was my daughter alright, questions and stubborn. "I lost my memory. I can't control my magic very well. I have to re learn everything I have lost." I said softly, but the words seemed to echo around us. "But your magic is part of who you are Mommy. How could that go away?" I looked away. I had lost myself, and I was too chicken to say it aloud.

"Oh… that is it isn't it Mommy, it's not just your magic that went away is it?" She asked. I sighed once more. "No, not just my magic. I can't remember who I am. I can remember things like common things, but my life…" I stopped. She was to young to hear this. "Is that why Daddy is so sad?" she asked then made a face. "Does that mean you don't know who we are? Any of us?" Tears started to well up in her eyes. "That is right Hailey. I am sorry. If I could just flip the switch to make myself remember I would." I stopped walking and bent down to her to cradle her face in my hand. She pushed me away with surprising strength and ran into the tree line.

"Hailey!" I called out. I scrambled to my feet and opened my nose to follow her. I heard a howl ring out as if the pack said they would take care of it. I fell to the ground my knees buckling. I was a failure, I couldn't even protect my own daughter from my own mess.

Vander Black… a complete and utter failure of preternatural proportions. Awesome.

I had failed in every single aspect, my family all of them. Husband, failed. Daughter, failed. Siblings, failed. Parent, failed. Friends, failed. All of it amounted to me being unable to keep my shit together.

"Your not a failure Vander." Edward said holding his hands up in peace once more approaching me. Great now I was missing people coming up on me because of my pity party. "Look, it is not a big deal alright. Your just used to me." he said sitting down beside me. "Really we don't seem that close." I shrugged it was the truth. I felt far more comfortable with every other Cullen besides Edward.

"Well at home you are. In Italy… we got close. We were all each other had." he replied knocking his knee into mine. "Riight the infamous Volterra that I toppled." I sighed. "You felt like you had no choice." he said softly. "Really now and why is that?" I asked. "Well they stole your life from you. You thought as long as they were alive we would never be safe. Any of us." he said seriously. "They have pursued Alice and myself, you, threatened Bella when she was human. You feared for Hailey." he sighed. "So I just masterminded a plan to keep us all safe and drug you into it. Killed Goddess knows how many, oh and somehow mind fucked myself in the process. I am some hero." I sighed and laid back to let the blinding sun fill myself. Vampire self mutilation of some sort a self inflicted atonement perhaps.

"Well seeing as how you didn't think you would ever get back to America I would say this isn't that bad. Well it's bad but you are alive." he said looking down at me blocking out the sun. "You know it is annoying how you read my mind all the time." I said dryly. "Well you know how to stop me." he said just as bone dry. "How is that?" I asked. "Don't ask me, you are the witch who makes it work." He chuckled. "Oh that is really helpful." I rolled my eyes. He just didn't understand the pain I was in and he was making jokes about it.

"You don't think this is hard on everyone? It is, we miss you. Hailey, is so alone all the time. Jacob is like a zombie. He has all these shifts on patrol, trying to get through to you. You don't realize the impact of your actions do you? The Volturi, they kept people in line. People like us. Vampires. Now there is no one. Pretty much Europe is covered Nature hates a vacuum, but here it is falling on the wolves and witches here. Guess what we are down our witch so our wolves are taking up the slack with help from Em and Jazz." He said.

I took a breath filling my lungs with the now familiar scents. I had no idea it had gotten that bad. Emmett and Jasper were away a lot sure but they were picking up the slack from me not being there to fix the mess I had created. I bit my lip and sighed. "Why hasn't anyone told me?" I asked crossing my arms. "Because you tend to get all Die Hard on us." Edward shrugged. "Well I should be the one…" He threw his hands up and shook his head. "You don't always have to be the one! You know maybe that is why your mind is a blank right now because it needs protecting for a while." Edward yelled. "I might not know who I am but I know I am not someone who sits back and lets people she loves take on hardship." I countered. "No you rather scar them to death, do you have any idea what we went through, what your daugh…" Edward was cut off by my fist connecting with his jaw.

He just blinked and I stood there my fist clenched. "You done now?" I asked, I could fell my jaw line set in anger. "Good." I said shaking my head and turning from him. He had no right to go there, I had just seen first hand how hurt Hailey was, I didn't need him to tell me.

I made a B-Line for the living room once I was inside and put my hands on my hips. "Dude, your own name doesn't count." Jasper laughed pointing at Emmett trying to get a triple word score with his own name. "Hey, Em, Jazz lets take a walk." I motioned with my head to the door.

I had refused to answer any questions as we left the house and instead started to run. Both Emmett and Jasper followed after me and stopped when I halted in the clearing. "You have been helping the pack out with the vampire situation?" I asked looking at them. Jasper and Emmett exchanged glances then Emmett nodded. "Yeah, they can't do it alone…." Emmett began. "No they can't, they need help." I acknowledged. Jasper broke out in a grin, apparently he was getting a read off my attitude.

"You want us to teach you." He raised his eyebrows as if challenging me. "It is my fault this is happening, I have a responsibility to clean it up even if it wasn't my fault. I can't do that with magic yet, yet. I can sure as hell do it as a rocking vampire." I shrugged and watched Jasper's grin spread to Emmett's face. "Is she serious, are you serious or are you guys just messing with me?" He asked but the grin on his face was proof. Emmett knew me and he knew I was being serious. "I am deadly serious." I nodded. "Then I hoped you packed your magical underroos." Emmett chuckled.

"Ready?" Emmett asked playfully swinging one of his huge bear like hands at me. In answer I slapped it away. My jaw was set and I was crouched focused. "Oh the freshmen has fire." he joked. He wasn't taking it seriously and he would pay for it. I speared my body at his and knocked my shoulder into his gut bowling us over. "Good, she could have just decapitated you with that one. Pulled your spinal column right out!" Jasper yelled.

They had taken turns fighting me while the other gave advice, sort of a lab and lecture rolled into one lesson. Emmett flexed his powerful body and then flipped us so that I was on the ground. He grabbed my neck using it as leverage to bow my body backwards. I wanted to scream, they were going all out letting me know what it felt like when I was losing. I couldn't as a newborn I might loose it and keep on pulling. I worked my foot free and kicked at Emmett's knee and when he faltered for a fraction of a second I reached up and grabbed his shoulders and threw his body away from my own. Has It been a real fight I would have used his head and let his momentum tear his head from his body.

"Good, you are doing great. Just keep going after that head and rip them off." Jasper nodded coming closer looking down at Emmett flat on his back. "This is not as fun as I thought it would be." He grinned and looked at me. "You play to rough." he cracked. "You are still alive, in a sense of the word." I shrugged. Jasper laughed and hauled him up. "Come on, lets get something to eat and head back." Emmett suggested. I nodded in time with Jasper. "You really did a great job. I would take you with us." Emmett laughed and ruffled my hair. "Yeah now comes the real challenge, convincing Jake." Jasper huffed. "He will get over it, besides I have means to convince him with." I wiggled my eyebrows. "That is just sick." Emmett gagged. "Make sure you don't do it where other people can hear, no one wants to see if vampires can vomit." Jasper laughed.

We split up after that, even when you hunt for food together it is best to split up, you can cage something better, and it is less likely to smell you coming. I decided to go after mountain lions, they put up a fight and I wanted to bring as much fight as I could, practice makes perfect after all. I found a big tom cat's trail and started to stalk him. My body fell into a natural rhythm I kept my body up wind so he would know something was coming for him.

A deep warning growl was the preamble to the tom cat lunging at me. I could have taken it down no fight a few minutes before, but that would have defeated the purpose of going after the lion. I rolled the mountain lion off of me and started to circle it. Anytime it tried to get away I was there blocking it making it more angry as I batted away it's desperate swipes. I suddenly felt guilty for letting it think it had a chance. I turned my face from the beast, it had fought bravely enough.

I backed slowly away and turned my back on the mountain lion before it jumped on my back. I howled in surprised more then anything before I scrambled to pull it off. Once we were looking one another in the eyes I pounced and tore it's throat out letting it's life blood run down my gullet.

Once I was done I tossed the animal aside and bounded away from the viscera. I just let myself get lost in the sensation of running free wind in my hair as I decided to switch gears to something I would be less likely to toy with, deer. I tore my way through a small herd before deciding to go back to the house.

I got within a couple hundred yards and paused. I could smell him inside there. Jacob. He was probably angry at me for talking to Hailey. I groaned and sat down on the ground resting my elbows on my knees. I wasn't going to run, but I sure as hell wasn't going to go poke the wolf either. I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against my hands letting my hair fall around my face.

I heard the door open and close and Jacob's scent filled my nose. A second later his massive hot hands started to work against my shoulder muscles. "Hey you." His mouth pressed against the crook where my shoulders started to taper up into my neck and an automatic grin painted itself on my mouth. "Hey." I responded. "There, that is much better." he chuckled. "What is?" I asked scrunching my nose. "You were smiling just then." he said simply his body shaking with a shrug. "How do you know that?" I asked turning my head to look at him from the wall of my hair. "I know what my wife sounds like when she smiles." he teased.

I tensed and bit my lip. "What? Are you waiting for me to scold you about what happened this morning with Hailey?" he asked. "Kind of." I admitted. "Well, she has been really angry with everyone for not being able to see you. It's just hard for her, she blames herself that you were taken you know? So she wanted you to tell her it wasn't her fault I guess." He said sadly as his hands stopped kneading at me. "And I couldn't give that to her, I failed her." I sighed and rested my head against him.

"No love…" he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my hair. "She deserved to know, I would have broken it to her differently but you did the right thing by not pretending." he said softly. "You think?" I asked. "Well I figure she be more hurt if you had pretended and then it came out later you were faking it. If we can't get you remembering then she would have been devastated. Who knows she could maybe even help us now that she knows." he added cheerfully. "How would she be able to help us she is a child, I am guessing eight at the oldest." I made a face looking up at him.

"Well she is six almost seven. But with those books she could figure something out. She is really talented, just like her mother." he smiled. "Those books are useless, I was pouring over them and nothing makes sense they are really upper level stuff. I wrote them, they are in my hand writing and I don't get them." I shook my head shooting his idea down. "Well those books are, they are for the most powerful modern witch the world knows. Her books though are for beginners, sometimes it is the simplest solution." he grinned. "I mean look at us, a complex situation, vampires, wolves, witches, but we make it work with love. Hard problem easy answer." he chuckled.

She had books, beginner books. Of course there was the answer, if I had the basics then things would be a lot more clear. After all those books belonged to me, if I had made them it was within my realm of power to duplicate what I had already done. "Vand?" Jacob asked kissing my neck. "Hm?" I asked looking at him my mouth once again lighting my face with an automatic smile. "What are you thinking about babe?" he asked. "Well, the books I have make no sense because I don't understand what language I wrote them in. But if I did understand it, there is no telling what I could do." I sighed.

"You know that is true. You are a force of nature, there is no telling what you could do if you had the right tools." He nodded. "Well, lets go." I said attempting to stand up. "If you want I can bring them here to you." he offered. "Why bring them here if I could just go get them?" I asked. He chuckled his voice low and husky. "You step foot in our house and you wont be able to walk for a day or two." I laughed, not a giggle or a chuckle but laughed unrestrained. "You are so goofy." I shook my head. "I am serious Vander, our home…" I silenced him by pressing my finger to his lips. "I know it feels empty without me there. I want to fix that, but I want to come back as myself. Not just a pretty Vander shell. Please Jake understand." I kissed his cheek and he nipped my finger.

"Oh trust me I understand. I want you to have your memories back, they are part of you but even if they don't come back your still the same. Everyone sees it, they way you interact with everyone. The way you fought in the woods today, and your decision to be truthful with our daughter. That is who you are." He smiled. "You saw me fight?" I asked my brow raised. "Stayed downwind, but yeah you were beautiful." he smiled. "I bet you would have beat me." I joked. "No you pretty much beat me every time." he blushed. "Oh kinky." I laughed.

"Oh your in trouble!" He yelled scooping me up in his arms and standing in one motion as if I was nothing. "That is what you think." I said sarcastically and sent him a small shock and jumped out of his arms. I started to run but just around the yard and Jacob began to follow me.

I cried out in laughter when he would almost catch me and I would send him a small shock and he would playfully yip. Eventually I stopped and allowed him to catch me in his arms and threw him down grappling with my husband laughing all the while. It was if there was nothing else in the world but Jacob.

'Your not getting naked are you?' Edward's voice sounded in my head. From Jacob's sudden stiffness I knew he had heard it too. 'Go away.' I thought still somewhat sore from what he had said earlier. 'Yeah, I would only there is a very determined girl with me, and a wolf packing a lot of books with me.' he replied. I sat up and turned my head where his faint scent was coming from.

A few seconds later he came into view carrying Hailey on his back while Embry carried a large stack of bound books. I made a face and stood up. "I brought these for you." Hailey said pointing to Embry as he slid off Edward's back. "What are they?" I asked. "Books, magic books. Uncle Edward said you needed them." she smiled at Edward. "How?" I asked looking at him. "Well the other day you were thinking you needed a potty training book for magic. Well…" He motioned his hand to Hailey.

Embry extended his full arms toward me and I bit my lip. "Thank you." I nodded. "You don't mind?" I asked bending down to get on Hailey's level. "They are your books… besides Uncle Edward said I had to." she said crossing her arms. I raised my brow but nodded. My brows shot up into my hairline as I felt someone else's consciousness slid into my own probing it. "It isn't me." Edward said instantly holding up his hands. Hailey huffed and instantly the presence was gone and she turned stalking off. Embry unloaded the books unceremoniously to Edward and turned to follow her.

"That was Hailey?" I asked looking at Edward. "Hey she is your daughter." he shrugged. "I am going to take these in the house." he said before he started walking. "Thank you Edward!" I called. "Whatever just don't slug me again." he laughed before disappearing inside.

"Well where were we?" Jacob asked chuckling nervously. "You were about to tell me I am incredibly sexy and as much as it pains you for me to go I need to get up there and study my ass off?" I asked making a playful face. "Right, I was afraid I was going to say that." he chuckled. "I know, I am a mind reader like that." I leaned toward him for a kiss but he shook his head. "No if I kiss you now I might never stop." he sighed. "Fair enough, I will see you later huby." I smirked turning to leave. "Yeah, later." he smiled sadly making a soundless retreat for the tree line.


End file.
